


Twice in a Lifetime

by z0mbieshake



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)
Genre: Angst, Friendship/Love, Heartbreak, Love Triangles, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Realm Hopping, Soulmates, Star-crossed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-01
Updated: 2014-10-03
Packaged: 2018-02-19 11:17:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2386400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/z0mbieshake/pseuds/z0mbieshake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Cabin Boy never told anyone why he chose to sail upon a haunted ship, fighting zombies, Spaniards, and mermaids till he could find his beloved once more. And he'd keep fighting, even against a demon boy who wanted Felix just as much as he did.</p><p>A loose crossover between Pirates of the Caribbean and Once Upon a Time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been slowly nursing this idea for at least several months but only now has it finally come into fruition. It was really meant to be a short little ficlet about the Cabin Boy from Pirates of the Caribbean coming to Neverland to find Felix with no explanation of how he got there but in the end, when I kept getting more ideas, I ended up writing a bit more than I thought. 
> 
> This is also known as "My chance to write lovelorn Peter"

_The tall blond slapped a hand over the boy's mouth, silencing him when footsteps outside their crate startled him. He tucked the boy into his arms, covering him and protecting him from the voices outside._

_"I think they're gone, love," The blond whispered, keeping a firm grip on his friend despite the reassurance of their safety._

_The smaller boy sighed, keeping himself pressed to the older boy, "Thank Calypso," He stared at his friend, appreciating his fine but battle-worn features even in the darkness of the crate. It started off as a childhood crush, scrubbing the decks of ships together and playing in the hammocks when they were small. He wasn't sure when he began staring at his closest friend with such a passion. He suspected that it must've been when his friend taught him how to read, both of them sitting under the stars going through an old pirate tale, capturing each other's attention completely._

_Or perhaps the time during an awful heat wave when both of them ended up alone and shirtless on the deck. Either or._

_Whatever the case, the cabin boy continued staring at his beloved friend with such vehemence that he knew it would end with him wrestling the blond to the ground and pressing their lips together with bruising force. From the intense look his friend returned when he noticed, the scruffy boy knew he felt the same._

_Both of them flinched when the crate opened, filthy hands reaching inside and jerking them out._

_"Let him go!" The blond shouted, fists swinging at his attackers only to be subdued by a heavy strike to his head._

_"Put him with the others," One of the slavers hissed, gesturing to the scruffy boy first before turning his attention to the blond, "Bring the older one to the city," He added._

_The cabin boy hissed, biting down on arm restraining his head and stabbing the other one with a dagger hidden in his belt. His assault was futile, however, as the slavers overwhelmed him with sheer numbers. He ended up on the ground, spitting and groaning as his friend was dragged away._

_"Felix!" The boy shouted one last time to his beloved friend, "I'll find you! I promise!"_

Sitting upon the deck of his ship, peering up at the stars, the cabin boy toyed with Jack Sparrow's infamous compass. He had successfully swindled it off the great pirate trickster, stealing his ship-in-a-bottle and demanding an exchange. He knew the unofficial pirate king could've easily taken his belonging back but out of honour or amusement, Sparrow backed off, letting the boy take his compass.

_"Points to what you want most..."_

The needle of the compass spun madly in his grasp, settling on no direction. The boy didn't want to consider what that meant, his mind settling on the worst outcomes. He shut the compass, reaching for the parchment and quill he left on the barrel beside him.

"I'm on Captain Barbossa's ship. He's a-" The boy read aloud slowly, still struggling to read and write even after Felix's lessons, "-good captain. Ship's magic too!" He smiled a little, knowing that Felix would love the ship if he were there with him, "Someday, I'll find you again. I promise," Signing his name at the bottom, the cabin boy stuffed the letter into a bottle and tossed it into the sea.

He'd lost count how many messages he had written, chronicling his life as a pirate and everything he did to search for his lost friend.

" _I'll find you_."

 

Peter let out a pleased hum as he watched Felix from afar, reclining languidly on a branch as the lost boy leader directed the hunt, splitting up the boys into separate teams as they closed in on a nest of wild boars. The boy was a natural leader despite his anti-social tendencies. No matter, as his fearsome persona easily demanded the respect of his peers.

Peter found himself staring at Felix's lips, relishing their pale colour as they twisted into a feral smirk or as they mouthed commands to the lost boys. He wondered how those lips would look on him tonight, suckling and worshipping his leader as he always did. Peter groaned at the thought, resisting the urge to leap off his tree and steal the lost boy leader away.

Instead, Peter waited for the hunt to end, waited for the boys to be parading around a feast of fresh boar meat. He teleported to their sides, entering like a wisp of smoke. The boys cheered as he entered, eager to flaunt their success to their king. Peter smirked but said nothing to them, directly approaching Felix for his report.

"No injuries. Seven boars downed, one got away," Felix reported.

"One got away?" Peter smirked as he spoke, "You're getting sloppy, Felix."

Felix ticked his head in acknowledgement,

"No, that just won't do. I can't have you getting sloppy on me," Peter said, the camp falling silent when Peter skimmed a hand across Felix's chest, "You need to be punished or else you won't learn from this."

A curious 'Ooooo' came over the crowd of boys, watching their two leaders silently as they exchanged lustful looks. Felix smiled at him warmly, acknowledging Pan's command with a nod. Peter loved the boy's expression, too eager for Peter's full attention. Whether it was love or lust, Peter didn't care. All he knew was that he needed this boy, that Felix was the only one who could possibly fill up his life.

And the best part was that Felix was already _all his_.

" _Mine_ ," Peter groaned as he suckled on Felix's neck, pressing his back against his Thinking Tree while vines coiled themselves around Felix's wrists and pulled them around the bark. One hand was stuffed down the front of Felix's pants, groping at him till Felix's was hard, hot, and heavy in his hands.

With his other hand, Peter scratched delicately down the side of Felix's cheek, "Tell me who you belong to."

Felix smirked at him, bringing his chin forward to nuzzle Peter's cheek, "I belong to you," Felix whispered, squirming eagerly as Peter nearly tore off Felix's pants, lifting his legs into the air and thrusting inside Felix till their hips slapped together. Felix screamed at the contact, wrists flexing wildly as Peter stretched him open.

 _His eyes_ , Peter thought, were always the best part of Felix when they were having sex. Felix always kept them locked onto Peter's face, looking intoxicated by just staring at him. By now, Peter knew Felix must've memorized everything about his face, the quirk in his brow, the flush of his cheeks when he climaxed.

"Say it again," Peter whispered into Felix's ear, keeping up an even but savage pace, nearly pressing Felix's knees against the bark of the tree, testing the boy's natural flexibility.

Felix groaned first, whining erotically, " _I am yours_."

Satisfied with the response, Peter pulled back for just a moment, recalling the vines of the tree before spinning Felix around and bending him over, letting the vines bind his wrists against the tree. At the delicious pose, Peter glided his hands over his curves and pinched at his supple flesh, barely resisting the urge to drag his tongue from the top of his spine and _all the way down_.

Almost immediately, Peter noticed that Felix had stiffened in his new position. He stopped, carefully tracing Felix's face with his fingers and noticing the distress knitting his features, "Something wrong?"

"I..." Felix murmured, blinking madly for a moment as Peter's fingers settled beside his eye, "I don't like this position."

Peter smiled a bit, pressing kisses down Felix's back before pulling the vines away and turning Felix over, "How could I have forgotten?" He mockingly scolded himself, pecking Felix's cheek before turning him around slowly, "You want to see my face through this, right?"

Felix nodded back shyly, an absent smile stretching on his lips, "Thank you, love."

Peter wouldn't let himself react to the pet name, wouldn't admit that he personally loved it and wished Felix would call him that every time he addressed him. Instead, he pressed Felix against the tree once more, hooking his arms under his legs and pressing back inside, eyes and lips locked together fiercely.

 

" _Love_ ," Felix mumbled quietly as Peter circled around the fire playing his pan pipes. The rest of the lost boys were entranced by his hypnotic tune, commanded to dance wildly around the flames while banging sticks to the beat. Not Felix, however, never Felix.

A part of Felix wished he could hear the pipes only because he'd be so bored during the hours of dancing. Peter was preoccupied with playing the pipes, the older boys he hunted with were occupied with dancing to the beat. In times like this, Felix often stood from the campfire and made his patrol, abandoning Pan reluctantly.

On the far side of the island, Felix was immediately drawn to light mumbling by the trees near the beach. He approached the moving shadows, noticing two lost boys huddled together under the moonlight with a moldy picture book which looked like it had washed up on shore.

"S-So the gold was cursed," The younger boy read slowly, finger dragging along the page, "And Cap...Capt-umm, cap..."

" _Captain_ ," The older boy corrected, "Like _Captain Hook_."

Nodding briefly, "Cap-tain," The younger boy repeated, smiling toothily at his mentor before continuing on the page.

The older boy was immediately alerted of Felix's presence as the lost boy leader approached. Snapping back on his heels and hiding the book, the older boy quickly dove in front of Felix, "We didn't mean to leave camp. I was teaching Lucas how to read. Please don't report this to Pan. I don't want him forbidding us from having books."

"Carry on," Felix said.

"I...what?" The older boy stuttered. Felix never tolerated anyone leaving camp without Pan's permission especially during his pan pipe performance.

Felix gave an indifferent gesture, "Carry on," He moved around them casually, pretending to be apathetic till he had made enough distance between them.

When he was far enough away, he looked back at the two lost boys, once again huddled under a tree reading together. The image was... _precious_ to him, an older boy looking out for his younger peer. Felix felt just the briefest ache in his heart when he saw them, an ache similar to the one Pan soothed when he first brought Felix to the island.

His eyes fell upon the ocean, a constant reminder of the life he left behind and the boy he'd never meet again. Was he dead? Was he still searching for him? Felix would never know and it pained him more than anything Neverland could ever do to him.

He loved Peter but this boy was beyond just romance.

"I wish I knew where you were," Felix whispered into the wind, praying for Neverland to grant his wish as Peter once swore it would.

 

_The first time Felix called him by a pet name, the scruffy pirate's face dyed itself the most precious shade of crimson. He scrambled away from his tall friend, covering up his face and praying that no one would catch them._

_"What did you say?" The Cabin Boy asked shakily._

_Felix cocked his head, "I asked if you're alright."_

_"N-No, after that."_

_It took a while before it clicked in Felix's head. He'd grown so accustomed to calling his friend 'love' in his mind that he hadn't even noticed that he spoke it aloud, "I called you 'love'."_

_Unbelievably, the Cabin Boy's face became an even darker shade of red. Unable to stand it, the smaller pirate scrambled out from below the deck, needing the ocean breeze to cool him down._

_Felix smiled warmly at the image. He was a couple years older than his friend but compared to the ages of their crew, the two naturally gravitated to each other when seeking similar companions. He made his way up the stairs, listening to the crew barking orders here and there._

_"Felix! Get the sextant from my quarters."_

_" Scrub the decks!"_

"I can't read this!"

Felix grumbled into the pillow pressed into his face. He opened one eye, noticing the still crackling fireplace across from him. He surveyed his surroundings, noticing that he was no longer in the murky lower decks of a subpar ship but in the tree house Peter had specifically made for the two of them: A large bed for the two to share, a fireplace to keep them warm during the night, and most importantly, locks on the door to keep lost boys out.

"Can't Curly read?" One of the boys outside.

"I don't know where he is," Another said, "And besides, Felix is already in there. Let's ask him."

The door rattled loudly. Even after all this time, the boys still forgot about the lock. Felix slid into his trousers, tossing on a stray smock from the ground before standing only to be stopped by a hand on his wrist jerking him back onto the bed.

"Forget about them," Peter grumbled, laying on his stomach with his eyes still shut and face half pressed into the pillow, "It's cold and I want you to keep me warm," Peter commanded, his voice stern but his expression pliant.

Chuckling softly, Felix sat back on the edge of the bed and carded a hand through Peter's hair. He melted as the trickster boy smiled absently, the muscles of his face relaxing to the feel of Felix's soft fingertips massaging his scalp.

"Felix!" Another boy shouted, the rattling at the door more insistent.

Peter groaned, tossing onto his side to glare at the door.

Felix laughed at his reaction, taking Peter's hand and kissing his knuckles when he lifted his hand to summon a magical shockwave, "I'll handle it or else they'll never leave."

With a small 'Hmph!', Peter flipped onto his back and pouted at Felix, "You'll make it up to me later, right?"

Felix smirked darkly, matching the lust in Peter's eyes, " _Always_ , love," He whispered, meaning to press a chaste kiss to Peter's lips only for Pan to hook an arm around his neck and crush their mouths, tongues tangling together in a passionate, _vicious_ dance.

A knock at the door dragged Felix out of the mood once more. Leaving Peter on the bed, he dressed himself quickly, unlatched the door, and stepped out from the tree house, donning a chilling expression as he confronted his lost boys. At the sight, the boys immediately backed off save for the little one who had yet to learn about Felix's reputation.

"What do you want?" Felix asked, voice still and monotonous.

The little one let off a shy hum, looking to his old companions only to see them worm away at Felix's presence, "Um, we can't read," Felix's eyes narrowed, speaking for themselves, "Can you read this for me?" The boy clarified, lifting a bottle to Felix's eyes.

Felix took the curious object, wiping away the sand that dusted the glass. It was a message-in-a-bottle. It had been years since he'd seen one. Chuckling with amusement, he led the boys away from the treehouse and removed the cork with the blade of his knife. He retrieved the letter slowly, careful not to tear the brittle paper. Just at the touch, he could tell this letter was written on the sea, saltwater wearing away the edges and making the paper feel crispy under his hands.

"Where did you get this?" Felix asked, carefully unfolding the paper.

One of the older ones spoke up, "Thomas found it at the beach this morning. Must've washed up."

"What's it say? What's it say?" The little one asked eagerly, bouncing on his heels.

 _To Felix, I'm on Captain's Barbossa's ship. He's a good captain. Ship's magic too! We're going to sail around the world, he said. When I find you, I'll give you a tour of the ship. You'll like it. You always believed in magic and it was real all along. That's all for today._ Felix's eyes fell to the bottom where it was signed: _I'll find you, always yours..._

His fingers trembled at the name signed at the bottom in scraggly writing he'd always recognize. Felix wondered if he was hallucinating, if this was some magic paper that would mock the reader by impersonating the one they loved most. He should give this to Pan, have him figure out where it came from and who was playing such a cruel trick on him.

Yet...he couldn't. What would Pan think if he saw this letter? Felix loved Peter since the day he saved him from the gallows but his heart belonged to another, a childhood friend who took on the world alongside him, nothing in his hands but a second-hand cutlass and his wits. He always meant to tell Peter about him, _he really did._

"Felix?" The little one pondered, "What's it say?" He looked slightly frightened by Felix's abrupt silence and the hollow look in his eyes.

Felix shook it off quickly when his gaze fell upon the confused boys. He stuffed the letter clumsily into his pocket, tossing the bottle back to the little lost boy, "It's something dirty. Pan wouldn't want this going around," All the boys immediately groaned, curious to know what was on the paper. They didn't protest, however, turning away from the tree house and returning the came before Felix could issue the command.

When the coast was clear, Felix took the letter back out, straightening out the crumpled edges as he read it over once more. He could still remember all the days he'd spent teaching the younger pirate how to read and write. The small tics and misshapen letters acted as a fingerprint, confirming that this letter was indeed authentic. Only Pan had the magic to construct such a forgery and Felix knew he wouldn't play a trick like this on him.

Unlike the show he had put on for the boys, Felix gingerly folded the paper into a tight square, tucking it carefully into his pocket to preserve it. If this was real, if his friend really was still alive and still _searching for him_ , Felix needed to find a way to contact him and tell him that he's alright.

 

Pixie dust. Think a happy thought, sprinkle the dust over your head, and _fly_. Every Lost Boy was familiar with it, Pan having used it to fly every boy to Neverland. Felix figured it must've been an odd sight to any witnesses, a crowd of boys flying through the air, blocking out the moon before disappearing into the second star to the right.

It was how Peter brought Felix to Neverland, tossing it over him just before the noose came around his neck. Everyone marvelled as the pirate boy floated off the platform, binds around his wrist coming free as Peter swooped in, frightened the crowd with a quick display of magic, and took him away. If pixie dust could bring him to Neverland then surely, it could carry something _out_.

Felix tore past a bush of brambles as he stepped through into a clearing in the woods. The ground was moist and untouched, gnarly growth twisted and untreated. This piece of land was forbidden to the Lost Boys, never explicitly declared by Pan but enforced by the sinister enchantment he had placed upon the tree.

 _His thinking tree_ , the tree that held all the pixie dust in Neverland and would attack the boys who tried to use it's bounty to escape, boys who _regret_ following Pan to this lonely realm and longed for home. Felix approached it without fear, even reaching out to touch the bark. There was no regret in his heart: Neverland was the second best thing that ever happened to him.

Even from the ground, he could see the flowers twinkling amongst the branches, camouflaged by the stars in the night sky. He only needed just enough to send a letter through the stars; Pan wouldn't be angry if he took just a pinch, would he?

Staring from the base, Felix threw himself towards the tree, grabbing at the lowest branch and pulling himself up. He kicked at the bark, scraping of the moss as he struggled to gain a foothold. Then a slip of bark gave way, Felix quickly used it as leverage to pull himself up another branch. So far so good. The bottom of the tree was the most difficult to climb given the lack of footholds all around. It would be a cakewalk as soon as he clambered into the thick of it.

"What are you doing?" Peter's voice came from the air _right behind Felix_ , floating behind him casually while the boy was halfway to the next closest branch.

Startled and yelping in an unmanly voice, Felix lost his grip on the second branch and fell away from the tree. He shut his eyes tightly expecting the dull impact only to be caught in soft, careful arms. He opened his eyes again seeing a coy look and an arrogant smile against the ethereal night sky.

"P-Pan," Felix choked out, suddenly embarrassed when he realized he was laying in Peter's arms like a bride. He paled as Peter looked away from him, tilting his head upward as he surveyed the tops of the tree, pixie dust sparkling back at him. Immediately wary when he could no longer see Peter's face, Felix reached up and cupped the boy's face, turning him back as he ran his thumbs over his soft cheeks, "This isn't what it looks like."

Peter looked back down at him, not angry or annoyed in the slightest. To Felix's surprise, he looked quite amused at Felix's declaration, "Trying to leave, are you?" He snickered, still holding onto Felix as if the boy weighed less than a feather, "That's a very severe crime in Neverland. The only way to repent would be for me to _punish_ you till the sun rises," His eyes flickered to the sky for a moment, relishing his magically _perpetual night_ , "Figuratively speaking, of course."

Pan was joking, Felix hoped, although he wasn't exactly turned off by the idea. The boy released him though despite the threat, carefully lowering Felix to the ground before backing away, "I really wasn't trying to leave," Felix repeated, feeling the need to assert that he really had no ill intention against Peter.

With a lazy shrugged, Peter floated off the dirt and soared into the trees, lost within the mess of inky leaves. Felix watched him curiously, wondering where Peter had gone till the boy floated back down carefully, the smallest flower in the palm of his hand. Felix was captivated by the lovely blossom, pale, rosy leaves filled with starlight that sifted through the petals and over Peter's fingers.

"Careful with it. Wouldn't want you accidentally floating off now," Peter remarked as he placed the flower in his hands, catching the dust that slipped off Felix's palm and making it spark and swirl in the air with just a touch. A smile graced Peter's soft features as Felix watched the magical powder dance and twinkle in his palms as if it were alive.

Felix was so captivated by the raw magic in his grasp, he didn't even notice that Pan had _disappeared_. His head shot up when he realized the magical boy hadn't spoken a word. Peter cut off the fingers of the last boy who tried to steal pixie dust for himself, warning every lost boy what would happen if they tried to cross Pan. By all means, Felix should've suffered a similar fate yet here he was, holding a blossom filled with more than enough pixie dust to send a dozen letters.

It made Felix feel guilty when he remembered what he needed the pixie dust for. He removed the slip of paper from his pocket, staring at it but feeling no regret for what he planned to do. His beloved friend, he should've told Peter about him by now but he always feared that his true feelings would bleed through, that Peter would see that Felix still loved the boy and somehow placed him _deeper_ in his heart than Peter himself.

After everything Peter had done for them, everything the two had shared, was it sacrilege to still love another?

The crackling of twisting wood startled Felix as the boy whipped around and stumbled backwards frightfully as the branches of The Thinking Tree reached for him slowly. Regret was filling his heart and he almost threw away the pixie dust for the sake of his beloved leader. _No, I can't leave him all alone in the world._ He'd spent years protecting the boy before the two were violently pried apart. Even if he owed Peter his love, he had to reach out to his beloved friend somehow, at least give him peace knowing that he was still alive and well. Bolting away from the foreboding tree, Felix returned to the camp with the pixie dust hidden safely under the folds of his cloak.

He was a scrap of paper, a quill, and a lovely thought away from his beloved friend.


	2. Chapter 2

He couldn't keep his eyes off it, the spinning needle unable to find what he wanted most. Had it been broken when he stole it? Perhaps that was why Jack Sparrow hadn't fought him for it, his precious trinket was obsolete. The cabin boy looked up from his compass briefly as he admired the setting sun, painting the skies with shades of copper and gold. Somewhere in the world, he wondered if Felix could see the same thing.

Another day had passed. It was time for another letter.

Startling him from his thought, a sudden breeze whipped through the deck of the ship and tossed his hat into the air. He chased after it, following it down the stairs into the sleeping quarters where he found a few crewmen huddled around his hammock snickering away.

"What's so funny?" The boy snapped, shuffling over to his hammock and shoving one of the scrawnier members aside. Scrum had his journal in hand opened to a random page where the boy had scribbled down everything he wanted to say to Felix when he saw him again, "Don't touch that!"

"Coulda sworn you were a girl from reading this!" Scrum shouted with a laugh, "I am the Ganymede to your Zeus!" He waxed poetically, unfortunately landing on a page the boy had written when he was drunk. The huddle of pirates laughed heartily at the boy's expense, "Come on kid. Who is it? We'll help ya get her!"

The pirates slapped at his back, their foolery meant only as lighthearted jest. The boy, however, was nearly purple with embarrassment and he promptly snatched his journal away and ran up the stairs onto the deck.

"Look what you did now!" One pirate shouted, slapping Scrum upside the head before the rest of the huddle joined in and abandoned their scapegoat comrade.

The boy ignored everyone who came up to him, finding a spot high up in the crow's nest to sit as he watched the sun disappear beneath the sea. He sighed heavily, thumbing at the pages of his journal and realizing how much he had scrawled down, swearing that he'd say those words to Felix one day before tossing the booklet into the sea so no one else could ever see those intimate declarations. Yet, the book was still here, filled to the brim with broken phrases and fractured poetry that not even the most shameless bard would sing aloud.

With his knees hugged to his chest, the cabin boy ripped out a page from the back, pausing to note that he was running out of blank pages. He'd need to ask the captain for more parchment. Unfocused for just a moment, a strong gust of wind caught the parchment and threw it into the air, "No!" The boy shouted, standing up and reaching for the sheet. His fingers barely scraped it before it fluttered off and landing in the sea.

Groaning, the boy almost sat back down till a twinkle in the sky caught his attention. At first, he thought it was a shooting star. He wished upon one before, begging for the gods to return his beloved friend to him. Perhaps they'd finally grant his wish the second time around. However, before he could make the wish, the twinkle in the sky suddenly gave off a vibrant green glow, surreal against the warm colours of the evening sky.

"Does anyone see that?" He shouted down to the crew below. The elderly pirate scrubbing the deck peered up at the sky and shrugged back, seeing nothing out of the ordinary.

The cabin boy looked back at the sky, watching as the glowing anomaly grew bigger, floating down from the sky at a deceptively fast pace till he could make out what it was: A slip of paper folded into a neat square, "It couldn’t be…" The boy murmured, still skeptical of miracles and magic despite the ship he was sailing on. When the sheet was an arm's reach away, the boy grabbed it and held it tight lest the wind pull it away. The glow disappeared, fading away into fine glowing powder on his clothes.

He opened the sheet eagerly, hoping for too much and knowing that he could be building himself up for disappointment.

" _Always yours, Felix_ ," The boy whispered, starting the letter from the bottom desperate to know who sent it, "I am alive and well, love. When we were torn apart, I was sold to a noble who had foolishly let me into his kitchen. I killed him and moments before I was to be hanged, a magical boy named Peter Pan came down and saved me," He would've considered that a joke had it not been for the miracle of this letter, "He took me away to a magical world called Neverland and now I serve him," That must've been why his compass couldn't find him, its magic unable to cross realms, "It's a good life and I'm glad you're living a good life as well. You're going to grow up beautifully. I know you will," The cabin boy stuttered at this line, curious at the solemn tone and sudden stiffness to the calligraphy, "Be strong. I love you. Always yours…"

His brows knitted together at the abrupt end. There was not a mention of finding him or seeing him again. He feared for the worst: What if Felix was trapped in Neverland, _enslaved_ by this 'Peter Pan'? After so long, he couldn't let this go, couldn't just forget Felix, not after all those years of searching for him, writing down everything he wanted to say so he'd never forget. In this world of magic and wonders, someone had to know how to get to this mysterious 'Neverland'.

The cabin boy clambered down from the crow's nest, scaling the mast before scrambling up the stairs and kicking the captain's quarters doors open, "Captain! Request to make way for Tortuga!"

 

_Mouth clamped shut, both hands slapped over his face, the thief boy fought the urge to shout when a heavy bag sailed through the window, breaking glass and landing in the dirt. The boy stayed firmly out of sight till his dearest friend leapt through the window shortly after, tossing the heavy bag towards his younger comrade while the boy returned a seemingly heavy bag._

_With just a reassuring nod, the taller boy ran off with the bag catching the attention of the slimy merchant they had just looted and quickly gave chase. Felix was always the faster runner, turning the village into an obstacle course as he weaved through the crowds and furnishings with a tenacity that would make Jack Sparrow proud._

_The boy nearly forgot their plan, spending too long ogling his not-boyfriend clambering up a well and onto the rooftops. He took the bag of goods and made his way below the docks, sneaking past all the guards and merchants who'd label him a thief just by the look of his mischievous eyes. As soon as he made it to their hideout, he would be home free and all that would be left was for Felix to return home._

_It was the younger boy's plan, to rob the trade post in the middle of the day since the guards would be armed and more aware at night. One of them would gather as many goods as they could and toss them out the window when they were caught. The other would then take the goods and hide while the active thief would give chase, distracting all the guards and diverting their attention from the real bag of goods._

_One thief would be completely safe. The other would be at the mercy of his pursuers. The boy had hoped Felix would take the easier role, planned everything so he could finally protect his older comrade._

_Their hideout was at the cliffs past a seemingly haphazard path through the reefs and up a barely visible ladder into a shallow cave within the heart of the cliff. The boy dropped the goods onto the table and sat down on the cheap carpet they had collected from the shore. As always, no matter who planned the raid, Felix always took the harder role without question leaving the boy to wait for his beloved friend to return._

_"Please be safe, please be safe, please be safe," The boy mumbled, praying to the gods that he'd see Felix on more time. Every time he got so worried, he'd always realize how much he_ loved _that boy but every time he turned up safe, the boy would lose all courage to speak up._

_By the time the lanky boy returned, the sun had nearly set, it's rays peaking through the narrow gaps between the rocks. The younger boy had nearly fallen asleep, hunched over on the carpet and startled awake when he heard Felix grunting up the stairs, "Felix!" He shouted, chest rising in happiness till he noticed the boy clutching at his face and hissing with every movement._

_Felix looked up with his good eye, smiling absently before collapsing onto the stone._

"I got you, Felix. You're going to be okay."

"Everything will be okay."

_The quiet voice murmured to Felix through a dizzy haze. He could feel a slight pressure on his scar, fingers gently pressing some sort of cloth against it to soak up the blood before a bitter, stinging fluid dabbed itself across the gash. Felix hissed and convulsed slightly, feeling like someone was burning his face with a torch. He relented when he felt soft, trembling hands on his shoulders._

_"Love…" Felix murmured, convincing himself that he was not in harmful company._

_"Yeah," The boy replied, carding a hand through Felix's hair slowly before clumsily wrapping a bandage around Felix's head, "Is that the worst one?" He could see blood seeping through Felix's clothes, bruises hidden beneath them. Felix was favouring his right side, his left leg caught in a strange angle that they'd need to check with a real doctor. They must've caught up to him, shoved him to the ground and kicked him into the dirt. The slice to his face, despite being the worst injury, must've deterred them. All of them realizing that they had gone too far against a young boy and immediately backing off._

_Felix nodded but immediately regretted the gesture when his head began spinning. He stilled his head and dug it backwards into whatever he was laying on only noticing shortly after that his head was laying in his best friend's lap. He gulped and blushed but the colour was invisible in the dimness of the cave._

_"I can sell the goods tomorrow," The boy said, trying to sound optimistic, "You don't need to go with me. I can handle it," He gasped when Felix sat himself up, staring at him through his good eye. The other had been accidentally covered by the bandage treating the gash across his face, "You don't have to worry about me. Just be safe here," His voice was weak, trembling, almost a whimper. At the sight of his friend nearly torn up while he remained safe in their hideout, the younger boy almost wanted to cry, "I'll be more useful next time. Really!"_

_A hand caressed his cheek but before the boy could react, Felix pulled him into his arms, crushing the boy against his chest as he held him firmly with one arm and stroked at his hair with the other, "You did great," He murmured, shifting as the boy melted into his arms and returned his embrace._

_A sniffle and a sob, "But Felix…"_

_Felix backed away from the boy, keeping his arms around him but making enough space for him to stare into the boys eyes, "What are you crying for?" Felix asked with a pleasant smile, "It's just a scratch."_

_Pawing at his eyes like a cat, trying to wipe away his tears with his sleeve, his younger comrade began to wail at the sight of Felix bruised up but_ still smiling for his sake. _He couldn't even speak, too lost in sobs and despairing thoughts of losing the person he loved most._

_To halt his tears, Felix leaned in a pressed a kiss to his forehead, reassuring him that everything would be okay. The boy's crying stopped at the gesture, staring up at Felix as the older boy wiped away his tears with his thumb, "Everything is fine," He whispered, into his forehead, puling the boy into another hug._

_Tears stopping but still desperate to reassure himself that Felix was here and alive, the boy clutched at his friend as tightly as he could. Felix returned the boy's hug. With his face hidden, his brows immediately knitted together in distress as his lips turned down. Felix was so scared that his friend would've been hunted down after he was caught. His sloppiness almost cost him both their lives. When he climbed into their hideout and saw the boy safe, none of Felix's injuries mattered anymore._

_How would I ever be able to live without him?_

Two fingers raised, Felix signalled the boys at the far side of the grove. The younger ones caught the signal, making their way through the bushes as Felix and his team approached from the north, crowding around a small pack of wolves. These canines had been giving the gatherers headaches for weeks and Felix finally tracked them down with his hunting crew. It would be a dangerous operation and if they weren't careful, the wolves could rip them all to shreds. This was why Felix called every hunter he could find, stationing them perfectly ready to assault the wolves with ranged weapons before diving in personally for the kill.

He raised one hand, stilling all of the hunters, ready to strike at the drop of his arm.

And then he disappeared in a swirl of green smoke.

Felix found himself in the tree house with one arm raised dumbly staring into a fireplace. He sighed heavily, dropping his arms and turning around to find Pan sitting on the bed with a huge smirk on his face, "I was busy."

"Doesn't matter. I've got something of higher importance for you," He pat the bed next to him, urging Felix to take a seat.

He made his way over to the bed, trying not to think about what would happen in the boys carried on without his guidance. Despite most of them having been here longer than him, he always felt anxious when he wasn't helming the hunt. He sat down at the end, peering over at Peter who shifted towards the pillows before stretching out and swinging his legs into Felix's lap.

"My feet hurt," Peter declared, crossing his arms behind his head as he smirked at Felix, "Massage them."

The good of the Lost Boys camp had to be put on hold for the sake of Peter's supposedly sore feet. Without a doubt, the magical boy did this on purpose. Rolling his eyes, Felix unlaced Peter's boots carefully, tossing them over the side of the bed as he took Peter's feet into his hands and rolled his thumbs over the soles.

Peter crooned at the touch, flexing his toes at the experienced, methodical presses, " _Oh_ , right there. That's good," As he always did, Felix silently doted on Peter, following all his commands without a second thought. Peter always loved that about him, "You know," Peter remarked as Felix continued massaging his feet, "The boys said you've been getting soft lately."

"Soft? Like what?" Felix replied, concentrated on his work and not Peter's smug face.

"They said you've been letting them run off on their own more. Instead of making them stay for the pan pipe show," Peter replied, nudging at Felix's stomach with his toes, "And I work so hard to write those songs. It hurts when they don't want to listen," His voice sounded pouty, coming out a desperate little whine.

Felix smiled absently, remembering Curly and the younger boy Lucas at the edge of camp. He'd seen the two on their own a lot more, Curly having adopted Lucas as a brother and slowly teaching him how to read and fish, "He was teaching him things. Thought that'd be more important than listening to music."

A second prod to his stomach, "I'll tell _you_ what's important or not," He snapped, "But I guess you're right this time. Better to have the younger ones start working with the rest of the boys instead of just being a mouth to feed."

Felix nodded in agreement, knowing that the younger ones were probably happy that they could finally contribute. He stayed quiet as he massaged Peter's feet, always waiting for his leader to come up with the next topic.

A contemplative hum came from Peter, signalling that he had figured what to talk about next, "Do you know why I saved you?"

Felix stopped for a brief moment, breath hitching at the memory of standing at the gallows just seconds away from death. Despite the outcome being quite optimistic, the terror of hanging to death while his last thoughts were crowded with rude jeers and death threats would never stop haunting his nightmares. He cleared his throat loudly, trying to forget as he shook his head.

"Come on Felix, don't be boring," Peter chimed, nudging at Felix's stomach again, "Guess."

Felix shrugged back. He didn't want to remember but Peter was just too adamant, "It was a huge audience and you like theatrics?"

A snicker came from his leader, pleased by Felix's response, "Perhaps, but that's not the main reason why," He paused, waiting for Felix to glanced over to him, "Because you looked at me," Peter answered.

"What?" Felix questioned, trying to recall his almost-final moments.

"You don't remember?" Peter asked, "I saw you up there, just another luckless pirate boy to be hanged. I was in the crowd, one in a hundred faces. And you _found_ me," Peter's voice faded, eyes suddenly warm like he was remembering a fond memory, "You looked at me like I was the only person in the world that mattered," He pulled his feet back as he crawled forward, cupping the side of Felix's face as he watched him with a puzzled but heartfelt expression, "I knew I had to have you when I looked into your eyes," He smiled as Felix watched him dumbly, hands still idle in the air even after Peter pulled his feet away, "You still haven't told me what you saw when you looked at me."

Peter's face, downy cheeks with stunning eyes and a natural rascally charm, Felix could never tell Peter the truth that when he saw him in the crowd, all he could see was _him._ The resemblance was uncanny, only differences being Peter's more defined jaw, paler skin from the lack of sun, his voice richer and more confident, like an older, refined version of his beloved. Perfect in voice, command, with all the shortcomings of the young cabin boy addressed… but still _not_ his beloved.

Felix couldn't remember what happened at the gallows but he knew the moment he set foot on Neverland's soil, he nearly threw his arms around the boy and smothered him with kisses till the magical rascal declared himself _Peter Pan_ and asked for his name. What he saw was not Peter, it never was, and it'd wreck Peter if he knew.

"I don't remember," Felix replied, knowing that Peter would be satisfied with that answer.

Peter didn't look happy but didn't press, returning to the pillows and tossing himself across the bed, "So, what did you need that pixie dust for?" Felix was glad the magical trickster could never stick on one topic for long.

"Sending a letter," Felix replied truthfully, "Something of a friend washed up on shore. Thought I'd send something back to them."

Peter smiled pleasantly to him, once again folding his hands behind his head, "Is he a boy? We could make him a Lost Boy."

Nothing would've made Felix happier than bringing his beloved friend to Neverland and spending the rest of his years with him, forever as Lost Boys, but he knew this could never be. It would break Peter's heart and Felix owed too much to the magical boy to hurt him like that. It wasn't that he didn't love Peter. His uncanny resemblance drew Felix to the trickster but his charismatic, mischief-loving heart won him over.

The problem was that _he loved someone else so much more_ and Felix just couldn't change that.

"No," Felix lied, "He's an old pirate that used to take care of me."

"I see," Peter said, tilting his head to the side as he contemplated Felix's face, "Tell me who you belong to," The topic changing once more to it's final stage.

Those words always preceded pleasure and Felix was already hot from them, " _I am yours_ ," He snickered as he crawled over, tilting Peter's chin upward when the boy moved to nip at his neck before closing in on Peter's face and hovering over his mouth, "Isn't it kind of early? I mean, the boys are still awake and everything," Smirking, Peter waved his hand in the air and a shroud of magic blanketed all of Neverland. The confused shouts of Lost Boys could be heard in the distance before fading off but Felix set them aside as he closed in on Peter, "So clever, love."


	3. Chapter 3

"Neverland?" Gibbs smacked his lips as he downed a gulp of rum, "Sorry kid. Never heard of the place," He gestured to the compass inside the cabin boy's jacket pocket, "You've got Jack's compass. Why not just sail there?"

"It doesn't work," The boy replied, removing the compass and flipped it open to reveal the perpetually spinning needle, "Neverland's not in this world. That's why Felix told me."

Gibbs hummed as he contemplated the compass, "Never saw it behave like that before. You're better off asking a witch doctor or something. If I don't know about it, then I'm sure as hell that no one else in here will," The older man waved a finger around the bar drunkenly, gesturing to the far less experienced sea-farers.

Gibbs was probably right. He was the wisest of the lot in Tortuga and everyone was far too busy getting drunk to be of any help. But he couldn't give up, not yet, so despite the warnings, the precocious boy wandered around the port searching for answers.

"So you're looking for an island called _Neverland_?" A stringy-haired scoundrel pondered, slurring his words.

"Yes," The cabin boy replied.

"And the only way to get there," One of his drinking buddies chimed in, "Is to travel to another world."

" _Yes_ ," The cabin boy repeated, sighing heavily, "Do you know anything about it?"

A brief pause, the calm before the crowd of slimy pirates burst into laughter, slapping at the table and throwing rum left and right. The cabin boy huffed loudly, sulking as he folded his arms and approached the next crowd. This was the fourth table that laughed at him, the others usually ignored him or didn't notice him at all. If he were just a bit older, the boy wondered if they'd take him seriously. Most likely not, given their drunken stupor.

"Hey kid!" Scrum greeted, throwing an arm around their cabin boy and ushering him back to the crew, "Forget this Neverland business. You've been at it all night. Come on, drinks all around! That'll cheer you up."

He wasn't a child, he'd gone through just as many hardships as the others had and he hated it when the crew would patronize him, "I don't want a drink!" The boy exclaimed, eyes shut and arms rigid at his side, certainly looking like a child throwing a tantrum.

The bar was immediately silenced, everyone peering over at the boy like he was raving mad. This was the best tavern in Tortuga!

"Come on, that's crazy talk," Scrum replied, nudging the boy away from the petrified crowd and towards the corner where the crew sat, "You've already got all that Neverland nonsense going on, now you're turning down rum too? Next you're going to tell me that you can fly!"

A heavier sigh slipped from his lips. Like any of them would ever understand. He had more important things to worry about than rum, the _most_ important thing in the world to him overrode all other needs. He sat himself at the stairs as Ezekiel, an elderly deckhand that always treated the boy like his son, waved him over and handed him a bottle.

"Cheer up, boy," Ezekiel remarked, slapping at the boy's shoulder when he refused to drink, "Like any of these amateurs would know a thing about the sea. Wouldn't believe in magic even if they saw a magic ship or a zombie crew."

"Do you know about Neverland?" The boy inquired. Ezekiel was always ranting on about pirate folklore and more often than not, despite a few early protests, his stories ended up being true. He knew of the mermaids back when they sailed under Blackbeard and the sirens they had spotted when Barbossa had steered the ship into foreign waters. If anyone knew of Neverland, it would be Ezekiel.

Unfortunately, the look on the elder man's face already answered the young cabin boy, "Can't say I've heard of it but I have heard of other realms and myths people stumbling upon them," As Ezekiel talked, the crew immediately huddled over with drunken fascination at the man's fantastic tales, "They say there's a realm where four beautiful sorceresses rule and another where the world is bereft of colour. Rumour has it there exists certain objects that allowed people to cross between realms but had to be taken away when it got too out of hand: Beans that could open portals, a pair of slippers that can walk between worlds. They say _mermaids_ know how to cross realms through portals under the sea, and of-"

"Mermaids?" The boy's attention had been caught. He placed the bottle he had been nursing down, "What of mermaids?"

Scrum gave a funny, little chuckle, "If you're planning on finding some mermaids again, bring me a long will y-"

" _Shut up_ ," The boy growled, effectively shutting up the entire crew who was ready to mock him, "Tell me about the mermaids."

None of them had ever seen the boy so determined, not even when he was up against Spaniards and zombies. Ezekiel cleared his throat loudly, trying to quell the tension, "They say under the sea are million of portals to the other worlds. Only creatures that can get to them are mermaids and any lucky blokes they might kiss and bring along."

The cabin boy stood from his seat suddenly, immediately being pulled down by his crew, "Let me go!"

"You're not planning on hunting for a mermaid are you?" Ezekiel warned, reaching out a hand when the rambunctious boy shoved off the pirates holding him still, "You saw what they are. Can't trust them anymore than you can trust a real woman!"

"I'm not going to hunt for a mermaid," The boy replied, shuffling away from the table and heading out the backdoor, "I just need to find _one_."

Moving far away from the piers, searching for a beach on the far end of Tortuga away from the bustling pirate central, the cabin boy carefully picked a good place to call for a friend. Mermaids didn't like urbanized land, didn't enter the waters if they knew it'd put them in danger. The cabin boy searched for a quiet, natural scenery so distant from the city life that it almost resembled a whole different island.

At the very edge of the sand, foam washing over his boots, the boy began to shout, "Philip! Syrena!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, "I was the one who freed him from Blackbeard! You owe me one, Syrena!" There was no reply but the boy wouldn't give up, kicking up seashells as he marched back and forth on the beach demanding Syrena's presence.

A couple of crewmates had followed the boy, worried for his mental health and rightfully so as the boy seemingly marched up and down a beach talking to no one.

"Is that… is that boy okay?" Scrum pondered, nudging at Ezekiel.

"I…um, I'm sure he is. I'm sure it's just the sun. Give him a few days; he'll be fine."

 

"Hm?" Felix pondered, looking over to Peter who had suddenly dropped the spear he was carving and glanced up at the sky, "Something wrong?"

Felix was always the only one to notice whenever Peter was distracted, usually someone in Neverland breaking the rules he had set. It amused Peter how doting his lieutenant was so he chuckled lightly, tossing the spear and carving knife aside as he folded his arms, "No. Someone's _calling_ for Neverland. Haven't heard that in ages," Years after Peter inhabited the island, the number of children visiting Neverland in their dreams slowly dwindled, replaced by the physical beings Peter brought himself. It seemed that the magic that fueled Peter's youth had been taken from Neverland's natural well which allowed children to visit.

Felix opted for silence, wondering if the letter he had sent a few days ago had anything to do with this. He was glad that his friend had received it but the _last_ thing he wanted was for Peter to bring the boy here. If Peter ever learned the truth of Felix's heart, nothing good would come from it.

_Hands red with blood, reaching forward, caressing his face as a needy voice whispered, "Tell me who you belong to."_

The cabin boy was better off on the sea, destined to grow into a magnificent pirate and live an adventurous, happy life. _Let him go_ if he truly loved him. Out of gratitude for Peter and honest love for his childhood friend, Felix needed to keep them away.

"We already have enough boys," Felix remarked, surprising Peter with the sudden protest, "We don't need this one. It'll upset the structure in place."

He hoped that he didn't sound suspicious but the amusement on Peter's face said otherwise, "How'd you know it was a boy?" Felix stuttered for a moment, breath hitching but Peter didn't dwell on it, picking up the knife and spear from the ground, "But you're right, I guess. We've got enough boys already. Camp's starting to get crowded. We'll let this one slide just this once."

Felix hoped he could return to work, fingering the blunt spearhead on his lap, but paused when he noticed Pan still staring at him. He looked up slowly, meeting Peter's unblinking eyes, "Yes?"

A smirk was on his face but Felix wasn't sure if that was welcome or not, "You look suspicious, Felix. Are you hiding something from me?" Felix shook his head slowly, trying not to appear frantic despite the pattering of his heart. Peter's hand came up, carving knife still clutched as he glided the back of his knuckles against his cheek, scraping at Felix's face with the dull side of the blade. Felix groaned at the nearly skin-breaking contact.

Felix couldn't keep his breath even, eyes darting away from Peter and wincing as the knife tip slid against his chin. He knew Peter wouldn't cut him but the overwhelming guilt made him jumpy.

"That letter you sent with the fairy dust. I hope it got to the right person," Peter remarked absently.

Of course Peter knew. How could Felix even think about deceiving Peter Pan? Shaking his head and ashamed, "Forgive me."

"Your old pirate buddy must've read it to some kid, right?" Peter answered himself, "And you don't want me to take the kid away."

That… wasn't what Felix was thinking in the slightest. Felix wondered if Peter really believed what he was saying or if he was just letting Felix off the hook. He put so much faith in his lieutenant that he'd believe even the most crooked lies that slipped from his mouth. Dumbly, playing along to Peter's charade, Felix nodded back.

Peter snickered, dropping his arm and tossing his craft back into the dirt, " _Pirates_. They get so attached by their code, don't they?" He crawled forward on the log, expression switching from intrigued to _interested_ as he crept over Felix, leaning forward till both of them fell off their log, "Whatever, I don't need the boy. I've already got the _best one_ right here."

Peter shut his eyes as he smothered Felix with a kiss. Felix wished he could do the same but couldn't stop himself from staring at the sky, thinking about how much trust Pan placed in his Lost Boy leader and how he didn't deserve a drop of it. From afar, he could hear the branches of the Thinking Tree weaving through the woods, waiting to strangle him.

 

"What's going on? You said it was just sunstroke," Salaman commented, nudging at Ezekiel once more, "Captain said we're heading out tomorrow. I'm not going to break the news to him if he's lost his mind."

Ezekiel sighed heavily, scrubbing a hand over his beard as he continued to observe the boy marching back and forth on the beach raving madly. Days had passed of this madness, waiting for the night before lighting a torch and shouting for Syrena as he swung it around.

"One of us got to do it," Scrum noted, "I bet the captains going to kick him off the ship if he keeps raving mad."

"Come on, old man, tell…" Salaman paused, brow furrowing, "What _is_ that kid's name?"

Scrum shrugged lazily, "Never told me. We just call him kid or boy."

"He said if he told anyone his real name, they'd just keep making bad jokes," Ezekiel answered.

Salaman rolled his eyes, "Whatever, just get that kid back to the ship."

Turning around, the boy dropped the torch to his side, "I can hear you, you know! You're scaring her away!" The small crowd of men stayed quiet, staring at the boy but refusing the leave lest someone stumble upon him in his madness. Ignoring them, the boy turned back to the sea, dropping his torch to the ground when the fire died and trudging out of the water and back on the land.

"Stop ignoring me!" The cabin boy shouted, finally fed up as he picked up a shell and hurled it into the water. So frustrated with having everyone in his crew thinking he had gone insane, shouting to the seas for days with no response, it felt good just to hurl a couple of things into the water, watching the ripples shatter the systematic rhythm of the sea's waves, "If it wasn't for me, Philip would've died at the fountain of youth!" The boy barked, hurling rock after rock till he stumbled over a _conch shell_. Picking up the hefty ornament, the boy lifted it high over his head as he declared, " _I helped you get to your true love. You owe me enough to help me find mine!"_

Hurling the conch shell as far as he could, the boy collapsed into the sand and let the tide wash over him, soaking through his clothes and washing away the haze of frustration. He was so close to Felix. He'd fought pirates, zombies, and mermaids for him and would endure krakens and vengeful gods just to see Felix one more time.

"I think he gave up," Scrum noted, "Come on, let's go help him out."

" _Wait_!" Salaman shouted, pulling Scrum back as he pointed at the waters were a shadowed figure rose from the foam, "Boy!"

Startled, the cabin boy looked up from the beach and leapt to his feet as the maiden breaching the surface of the water, "You… you're here."

The lovely maiden, her features still soft and innocent unlike the other mermaids they had encountered, glided towards him under the water till her fins met the sand and split into legs, "Philip hasn't forgotten what you've done," Syrena said, her throaty voice tinted with the slightest accent, "You only need ask if you desired my help."

The boy stifled a laugh. He'd been asking for help for days now, looking like a madman as he marched up and down the beach demanding an audience of a mythical creature. Whatever had changed and allowed his words to reach Syrena was beyond the boy's knowledge. He chose not to dwell on it, more important matters at hand.

Syrena jumped back suddenly, glaring into the trees behind the boy, "That's just the others. They were worried about me so they've been watching over me every night. They aren't after you," Trusting the boy, Syrena turned her attention back to him, "I need you to bring me to another realm. Mermaids can do that, right?"

Syrena nodded, once again proving Ezekiel right, "If I can reach there, where do you wish to go?"

" _Neverland_."

The moment he spoke of that world, Syrena's eyes widened and her stance became predatory. Body rigid and frightful, she asked, "Why do you want to go there?" Her voice was low and ominous.

This was the first person to acknowledge that Neverland was real. However, her negative reaction to his inquiry was unsettling, "My friend was taken there. I need to go find him."

"Neverland is not a good place," Syrena remarked, still unnerved, "It's ruled by a tyrant who hunted my kind and drove them off the island. They say the tyrant kidnaps children across realms and holds them hostage on the island, hypnotizing them with music and games to make them forget about their homes."

Words meant to discourage him only strengthened the boy's resolve, "Can you bring me to Neverland?"

"You will die or end up prisoner to that monster and I won't be able to bring you back. No mermaid gets close to Neverland and survives. You'll be trapped there, forever."

"I don't care. I have to find _Felix_."

His resolve was adamant, shining through the boy's scruffy exterior. Despite Syrena's reluctance, she always repaid her debts just as she retrieved the chalices for Jack Sparrow, "Very well. I can't get close to Neverland so you'll have to swim your way over when we get there."

The cabin boy nodded, agreeing to her terms. The ethereal beauty closed in on the boy, pressing a kiss to his lips enchanting him with magic that allowed him to breathe underwater before hooking her arms around his shoulders and pulling him into the depths.

"Kid!" Ezekiel exclaimed, charging out from the trees to watch the boy disappear from the surface, "Oh god no. We should've done something."

"Darn right we should've done something," Scrum added, "That lucky dog got kissed by a mermaid!"

 

Like a chill through his flesh, Peter's eyes snapped open to the warm glow of the fireplace behind him, illuminating the room. Felix was latched onto him from behind, spooning him with one of his hands tucked into the fold of Peter's tunic. He grumbled when he felt Peter shifting around, rubbing at his eyes groggily.

"What is it?" Felix pondered with his eyes still shut, adjusting his hips so they lay flat against Peter's.

"Something's wrong," Peter remarked, closing his eyes and concentrating. He sat up slowly, rolling Felix onto his back as he stroked at his chest gently. In response, Felix glided his fingers all over his face, memorizing every feature by touch, "I'll take a look. Don't worry your pretty little head," He mocked, patting Felix's hair before standing up in bed.

The boy chuckled shortly in response, rolling back onto his side and bundling up the blanket in his arms to compensate for Peter's presence. His mouth stretched with a yawn before he tucked the pillow under his head, already halfway back to slumber.

Peter smiled to Felix, leaning back down to capture his lips in a spicy kiss, "If I do take long, you get to punish me," He smirked slyly, opening the window and flying out of the tree house with nothing but _murderous thoughts_ in his head.

 _Who has the nerve to come here and take_ my _Felix away?_

Breaching the surface of the ocean, the young pirate hacked out the breath of water he had accidentally taken. The spell Syrena placed on him barely lasted him the whole trip and he ended up swallowing water moments before he surfaced. The skies were twisting with storm clouds, lightning weaving through the sky in ominous, jagged paths. Rain pelted him from above, turning the sea into a violent stew of salty waters.

"This is as far as I go," Syrena declared, struggling to keep herself afloat just as much as the human boy. She gestured to the island when the boy struggled to look through the storm. From afar, he could see the slightest silhouette of the ominous island in the distance, "Remember, a tyrant rules that island and if any boy tries to bring you to their leader, _do not follow_."

The pirate boy nodded fervently, too battered by the waves to thank the mermaid before breaking away and swimming towards the island. Understanding the dilemma, Syrena parted as well, descending below the waters once more and back into her own world.

The boy just barely made the beach, battered and weakened by the stormy waves and endless rain. He wondered if the weather was always like this in Neverland, a nightmare to any sea-farers. As soon as he pulled himself onto the beach, the young cabin boy collapsed on his stomach, hacking out water and laying still waiting for his energy to return. Only moments after he had rescued himself, the clouds immediately parted, ending the rain and showing off a majestic night sky.

The cabin boy scoffed, chuckling at the sick humour Neverland's weather had. He rolled onto his back, reaching into his jacket to retrieve the compass Jack Sparrow had lent him. He scolded himself when he realized that he'd left the journal and Felix's letter back on the ship but concluded that it would have just been destroyed by the water if he brought it along. That wasn't important right now; all he needed now was the compass.

He flipped it open, nearly fainting from happiness as the needle stilled and pointed towards the forest. He threw an arm over his eyes, sobbing out of sheer happiness. Felix was _here_.

 

Peter never told Felix that he read the letter. As the king of Neverland, he had every right to intercept any traffic coming in and out of his realm. It pained him to know Felix had lied to him, claiming that his letter was for just an old pirate friend when it was clearly for someone else, someone he loved _dearly_. He couldn't let Felix know that he read the letter; it'd destroy any trust the lost boy had in him. He couldn't destroy the letter either, knowing how desperately Felix wanted to send it, Peter didn't have the heart to crush his hopes. So he foolishly let the letter through and immediately he regretted it.

He had no intention of bringing the boy to Neverland despite Felix's assumption. He would never allow someone whom Felix's declared to love share the same soil with him. Felix was only _his,_ completely and forever. He didn't expect the boy to make it here with a _mermaid_ of all creatures as his guide. All across realms, mermaids feared Pan for good reason, staging slaughter after slaughter to deter them from crossing into Neverland.

But here the boy was, laying on the sand staring up at the sky with a strange black box clutched in his hand. His attempts to drown the boy dashed but it wasn't too late. As long as Felix never knew, as long as he destroyed the body, Felix would belong to him once again.

He approached the boy from the forest, stepping across the sopping leaves and into the sand. To his surprise, the scruffy boy heard him and immediately jumped to his feet, tucking away the black box and pulling out his cutlass.

"Who's there?" The pirate boy shouted, pointing his cutlass at Pan. He paused when he noticed it was _just a boy_. Syrena claimed that the tyrant had imprisoned boys on Neverland. This one had to be one of his hostages, "You… you live on Neverland, right?" He put his cutlass away, unaware of the monster he stumbled upon.

From afar, Peter hadn't noticed but now that he was face to face with the pirate, he couldn't take his eyes off the uncanny resemblance the boy had to him. The soft, boyish features, the rascally expression and perpetually quirking eyebrow, even his voice was tinged in an English accent. Had he not been as scruffy, tanned from his life on the seas, hair paler and in knotted, tangled dreads, the boy would've looked exactly like him.

Was this really the one Felix was trying to contact or some illusion Neverland had generated out of his jealousy to mock him for having such a pathetically human weakness?

"You could say that," Peter replied, too intrigued by this boy's remarkable resemblance.

An innocent, goofy smile stretched across the boy's face, another divide between the pirate and Peter, "I'm looking for a friend. His name's Felix. Last I saw him, he was real tall with messy blond hair and a scar across his face. Have you seen him?"

Eyes narrowed, Peter shifted back on one foot and folded his arms, "No. Haven't heard of him."

The cabin boy looked suspicious, wary of Peter's quick denial. The boy claimed to not know Felix but the compass was telling him otherwise, "No. He's definitely on this island. I know he is," He walked past Peter, bumping into his shoulder as he walked briskly towards the forest, "If you don't know where he is then I'll have to look for him myself."

"I already told you he's not-" Peter growled when the boy shoved past him rudely. He grabbed the boy's arm, nearly crushing it in his grip as he pulled him away from the forest, "How are you so sure he's here?" He asked through clenched teeth, too angry to put up a friendly façade.

Immediately, the pirate boy saw through Peter, knowing that something was wrong, "What does it matter to you?"

It mattered plenty but Peter could never say. He'd give up every boy on the island just to keep Felix for himself. The rest were just _fodder_ compared to him. And now, this boy was threatening the careful peace between him and Felix. Fingers twitching with the darkest magic, this boy had to die.

" _What do you want with Felix_?" Peter growled, voice low and feral barely able to contain his anger.

The pirate boy didn't back down. His hand returned to his cutlass but he didn't draw, "So he is here," He replied, eyes narrowing with calculated confidence. Had the situation been less volatile, Peter might've welcomed the pirate into the Lost Boys. His bravery was astounding, "I've searched the sea for years looking for him. I sailed under Blackbeard, fought pirates, undead, mermaids, and I'll take on plenty more until I find him."

"Why?" Peter asked but he already knew the answer.

"Because _I love him._ "

The skies twisted in ominous clouds once more, somehow making the perpetual night of Neverland even more pronounced. Gale winds gusted around them no doubt frightening the Lost Boys who were aware of the influence Pan's emotions had on the weather. All but the cabin boy shook in fear under Peter's power. Whether under ignorance or bravery, Peter was _pissed_ and he wouldn't let this boy's end be swift or painless.

He bared his teeth at his declaration but fought against it, lips slowly twisting into a sly smirk, "Would you still love him even if he moved on?" His brow quirked upward and the taunt, approaching the cabin boy slowly, "He's lived here for years and he's never spoken a word about you. Nothing about pirates, or the sea, or the life he used to have," He circled the boy slowly, eyes unblinking and cold as he taunted him, "He's moved on. He doesn't need you anymore. He sent that letter on a whim. Just an idea he had during his free time between leading the Lost Boys and _laying in bed with me_."

His final words stung the pirate boy. His fingers dug into the handle of his cutlass and his expression became desperate. Peter wanted to laugh as he circled back to the boy's front, teenage boys were so obvious. He'd already laid claim to Felix's body and heart. This boy was _nothing_ to him but a remnant of the past. All he needed now was for the boy to believe it as well and when he was disillusioned and heartbroken, _Peter would kill the boy_.

A small chuckle.

Peter's smile immediately dropped when the boy raised his head, the sadness in his eyes offset by the mirthfulness in his smile, "All those years on the sea with nothing but each other, just the two of us against the world, barely scraping by but _happy_ as long as we had each other. Those memories can never be replaced," The sadness eventually faded from his eyes, suddenly replaced with _pity_ , "You could never understand what Felix and I shared because you force him to stay here in this _toy box_."

"I saved him," Peter snapped, unwilling to be outdone by this pirate brat, "I'm his _hero_. I deserve him more than you ever will."

"So you really are Peter Pan," The boy muttered under his breath, "Felix said you saved him and he's probably obligated to serve you because of that. Felix and I, we never had that sort of bind. We _chose_ to stay together," He stepped towards the demon boy courageously, meeting his eyes. Their resemblance was even more remarkable up close, even their heights matched, "If you really love Felix, then bring him here and let him _choose_."

Peter should've agreed, should've showed the insolent boy he wasn't afraid of Felix's true feelings. He trusted Felix and knew the boy loved him, not this remnant of his past. _The prospect of losing Felix_ , of realizing that Felix never saw Peter when he looked at his face, of realizing that Felix took to him because he looked just like his true love,

_"You want to see my face through this, right?"_

_"You looked at me like I was the only person in the world that mattered."_

The prospect of realizing that _love_ was never a moniker meant for him.

Peter grabbed the front of the boy's shirt and hurled him against a tree. The cabin boy yelped as a branch dug violently into his back, bruising it easily before he tumbled into the dirt. He drew his cutlass as Peter closed in, clutching at his chest once more before his finger sunk inside the cabin boy's flesh, wrenching into his soul until a shadowy mass pulled away with his fingers. The cabin boy screamed in pain and Peter hoped that Felix couldn't hear.

" _Wretched, little brat_ ," Peter snarled, tearing his shadow slowly and deliberately.

The boy wouldn't bend to his will and in a moment of clarity, he swung his cutlass forward and slashed Peter across the chest. Crying out in surprise, Peter released the boy's shadow and backed off, hand immediately scrubbing across the gash, sealing it with magic. The cabin boy took deep gasps of air, rolling onto his side and dry heaving as the pain subsided from his chest. He hacked out a spot of blood into the sand having bit through his tongue when he was screaming. He'd never felt anything like that as if his raw soul was being torn from his body.

Before he could even catch his breath, Peter was on him once again, grabbing the back of his jacket and throwing him harshly to the floor. He kicked the cutlass away and restrained the boy with a foot to his head, grinding his cheek into the dirt. Never in Peter's life had he been so enraged, murderous fantasies and the worst of fates imagined for this wretched boy. For having the audacity to try and take his Felix away, Peter would grind the boy to dust.


	4. Chapter 4

Felix was far too awake now to fall back asleep having lain on the bed awake for at least three hours despite Peter's remark that he wouldn't take long. Figuring that he'd be better off spending this time fixing up the camp, Felix got dressed and left the tree house, finding the camp and taking inventory of their tools.

He approached Curly who sat by their weapon stash, listing down all of their supplies on several pieces of parchment. Curiously, he noted that the young boy, Lucas, was at his side counting up the poison-tipped arrows.

"Shouldn't you be handling those?" Felix asked as he approached from behind.

"I'm teaching Lucas how to take inventory. He'll be fine," Curly replied, ruffling the little boy's hair.

Felix really shouldn't be worrying so much. Despite his physical age, the little lost boy had been on Neverland for as long as he had. He looked over the camp, noting that Pan was not amongst them, "Where's Peter?"

"Haven't seen him. We figured he'd be at the tree house with you."

"He left a while ago. Said something was wrong," Felix replied.

Curly shrugged back, "Nothing we know about. All of us are still alive, no one's hurt, camp isn't burning, maybe the mermaids are acting up again."

It never took him more than an hour to deal with rebellious mermaids and even then, Peter would've have passed a word to at least one boy so he could relay it back to Felix. This was an anomaly and Felix wasn't sure what to think of it. He wandered into the forest for a patrol, following his usual path till he passed the beach. Something was glinting at him from the sand, too shiny to be natural-made.

He veered from his path and walked across the beach, pausing once more when he noticed a curious splatter of blood across the dirt and a broken bough on a nearby tree. There was a tussle here but Curly had reported that no one was hurt. At closer proximity, Felix recognized the glint, the sharp silver of _steel_. It was a sword but before he could examine it further, a sudden breeze picked up in the air and tossed his hood off.

"What are you doing out here?" Peter asked from behind, turning Felix around and away from the cutlass, "Didn't I tell you to stay in the tree house?"

Felix smiled at him, immediately warmed by the presence of his king, "You took so long. I was worried."

"Didn't I tell you not to worry? Peter Pan never fails," Peter remarked with a smirk, suddenly tossing his arms around Felix and crushing a kiss against his lips. Felix groaned at the contact, opening his mouth and accepting Peter's intrusive tongue, letting it work wonders as it excavated his mouth.

Humming curiously, Felix pressed a hand to Peter's chest and noted the incredible pace of his heart, beating in an adrenaline fueled rate. Only the excitement of battle made him this ecstatic, "You're really excited. What happened?"

"A ship sailed in from the Enchanted Forest," Peter replied without hesitation, "Flew in from the stars. Had to take care of them before they invaded Neverland."

A war broke out? And Pan took care of it himself? That seemed awfully generous of him. The last time a ship invaded Neverland, Pan was more than eager to draft the boys into a battle. The bloodstain on the sand certainly didn't imply a huge battle.

However, Felix had been trusting Pan for so long, he didn't have any reason to doubt him, "I see."

Peter pouted a bit, posture suddenly playful as he closed in on Felix, "You know I hate it when you're worried. It's almost like you don't trust me."

A smirk flashed on Felix's face, "I'm sorry, love," He whispered, voice even and cool, "However can I make it up to you?" Peter should've felt overjoyed at Felix's response. Instead, when he used that once-beloved pet name, Peter felt sick to his stomach and Felix immediately picked up on it, "Peter?"

"It's nothing!" Peter shouted, too quickly and too loudly to be honest, "It's nothing," He repeated when Felix remained concerned, "Didn't I just say how much I hate it when you're worried about me?" He remarked, slipping back into his playful persona as he hooked an arm around Felix's waist, "Perhaps a punishment will help you remember?"

"I think it would," Felix replied, playing along as he threw his arms around Peter and let the magical trickster teleport them back to the tree house. When Peter's fine green smoke cleared, Felix was surprised to find himself on a dark, jagged cliff instead of their warm tree house, "Huh?" The undignified sound slipped from his lips as he surveyed his surroundings.

Chuckling, Peter kept a firm arm around Felix's waist to keep him from stumbling off, "Afraid of heights?"

"Course not," Felix responded, backing up into Peter's embrace, "We've flown higher than this before."

"Ah, I remember. It was that time we had midair sex," Peter said coyly, smearing a quick kiss to the nape of his neck.

Felix chuckled lightly at the remark, admiring the scenery of Neverland. They weren't too high up, a moderately difficult hike for any boys who wanted to stargaze, "I've been here before to collect dreamshade before we started growing it in the grotto," He shifted slowly when Peter pulled him to the ground, seating Felix against his chest as their legs dangled over the edge, "Why'd you bring me here?"

"Thought the view was nice," Peter replied, rubbing circles over Felix's chest, "I was getting bored of that stuffy tree house. I wanted to find somewhere new, somewhere _special_ for the two of us. Besides, no Lost Boys to accidentally walk in on us over some small matter."

"I really don't think a pack of wolves attacking the little ones is a small matter."

Peter smirked as he lowered his head again, pressing kisses all along Felix's neck, "Tell me who you belong to."

A shy, quiet laugh came from Felix as Peter craned the taller boy's neck back to press more kisses all over his skin, "You want to do it up here?"

"It'll be more exciting," Peter replied, lips not leaving Felix's skin for a second, "I promise. You'll like it."

Rolling his eyes, Felix let Peter rolling him over and pressed him against the cliff, his hair just dangling over the edge, "Whatever you say, love," A wide smile stretched across his lips and for a moment, Peter didn't say a thing as if he were trying to let that pet name sink in, "Stop staring at me like that," The older boy joked when Peter hadn't said a word, simply admiring him with a hungry look. He shivered as their clothes disappeared from their bodies, appearing as a bundle of cloth by the cliff wall behind them. The night air coupled with the high altitude was chilling his skin and Felix immediately pulled close to Peter for warmth.

"Cold?" He asked, pressing kisses all along Felix's face leaving a trail of heat wherever they touched, "I'll warm you up nice and _slowly_ ," His breath hitched when Felix wrapped his naked legs around him, trapping the boy in as he threw his arms around his neck.

"Nice and slowly" Felix replied in a mocking tone, "I'm not a maiden, love. You know what I prefer."

Another smirk, and Peter took Felix's legs and held them apart, testing the boy's natural flexibility, "Silly of me to forget. Let me make it up to you."

Peter was never one for preparation by hand, preferring to use magic to speed up the whole process. Felix never minded but there was a sense of kindness and _intimacy_ whenever Peter prepared him without magic, investing time and effort into Felix's pleasure. He worked his fingers smoothly inside him using what appeared to be _coconut oil_ as lubricant.

"What's so funny?" Peter remarked, continuing to twist his fingers inside Felix making the boy in his lap writhe and whine.

Felix had his arms wrapped around Peter's head, nuzzling at his hair and crying out whenever Peter would flex his fingers _just right_ , spreading the coconut oil thoroughly inside him, "Coconut flavoured sex," He chuckled out nonsensically, crying out when Peter shot a spark of magic through his fingers and deep inside him.

" _Coconut flavoured?"_ Peter chimed, humming before lowering Felix onto his back and shifting down his lap.

Felix looked up for just a moment, curious as Peter slid down to his lap but before he could understand, his mind short-circuited when he felt something wet and warm push its way inside him, worming in and teasing him. Felix cried out, back arched as Peter ate him out, making use of the coconut oil he'd smeared inside of him. With how vigorous Peter's tongue worked him, Felix wondered if the boy was planning on taking back all the coconut oil he'd left inside him, pleasuring him till Felix was nothing but a blubbering, lust filled mess.

Peter was never this meticulous with foreplay, always moving from any random kink he might've had straight to sex. If pleasure hadn't overridden all his thoughts, Felix might've realized that something was wrong, would've realized that something had happened to Peter to make him act so uncharacteristically. Instead, the most Felix could muster was a lusty whine as his shoulders dug into the stone floor and his fingers convulsed with pleasure. His thighs squeezed at Peter's head as he cross his ankles over the boy's shoulders.

His tongue worked magic inside of him, the sparks of pleasure whenever Peter flexed his tongue were incredible but never enough to push him over keeping the boy perfectly straddled on the brink of orgasm. When he couldn't take it anymore, driven to his limit, Felix threw his arms over his eyes and screamed, " _Oh god,_ Peter! Enough of your _teasing_!"

At last, Peter pulled away, wiping away the string of saliva and the coconut oil staining his chin, "As you wish," He muttered in a low, seductive voice as he mounted Felix, embracing the boy and shoving himself all the way in till their hips slapped together. Peter threw his head back with a groan, loving Felix's heat far too much. From the pitch Felix's voice had taken, Peter quirked a brow and knew Felix felt just as good as he did, "Tell me who you belong to."

A drunken smile stretched across Felix's face, too thoroughly heated to properly speak, " _You_ ," He sighed, crossing his legs around Peter once more as he rooted himself down and shoved Peter inside of him.

" _Mine_ ," Peter whispered as he started a steady rhythm, desperate to keep as much skin contact with Felix as he could, "You're all mine. Now and till the end of time."

And in his delirium, Felix nodded back.

 

As the two lay on the stone savouring the last of the afterglow, Peter lifted a hand and cast a spell over Felix, putting the boy to sleep before materializing a blanket over his lanky form. He stood shortly after, cleaning and clothing himself before approaching the cliff wall.

"Did you enjoy that?" He spoke to the emptiness before waving a hand and lifting the cloaking spell revealing the young pirate boy, battered, bloodied, and bound to the cliff wall by a multitude of vines lashing over his body till he couldn't move a muscle.

One eye swollen shut with a cloth gag tightly tucked between his teeth, the pirate boy glared at Peter with all his hate. Peter smiled back in reply, nodding to the branch of dreamshade he had placed in the boy's left hand, "If you can't stand it anymore, just prick your thumb on the branch and it'll all be over in a matter of hours," He took the boy's chin, craning his neck upward and stopping the nosebleed from trickling down, "The choice is yours."

Slapping the boy across the face, Peter left him bound and returned to Felix, scooping the blanketed boy up in his arms before disappearing in a puff of smoke. With no one left to fool, the cabin boy dropped his courageous façade and let a narrow stream of tears flow from his eyes. He sobbed quietly not for his pain but for having his beloved stolen from him.

 

_The young boy didn't know what was going on. Before he was a pirate, before he sailed on a ship, he was just a ruffian on the street raised by older orphans destined to someday be sold as a slave. From his innocent face and sheer cuteness, he often won favour with richer citizens who'd happily provide him with food or clothes. He felt like a pet but he never felt any shame. This was just the way he was meant to live._

_Just from his birth, he had an advantage, one that was not shared with the other orphans._

_He heard screaming; he heard things breaking; he heard crying and fighting and everything violent. Drawn to the crowd that gathered and cheered, the orphan boy was horrified when he saw another orphan, blond, lanky, and narrow in features, beaten by a crowd of young nobles, mocking him for things beyond his control._

_All the other orphans ran away. The worst of them joined along, so desperate to have someone more miserable than them to give themselves relief. Whether it was from the kindness he received or just something he was born with, the orphan boy couldn't stand it. Picking up a plank of wood, he smashed it down on one noble's foot, leaping on another one and clawing at him till he ran away in cowardice. The other nobles were not so frightful and once they banded together, they pinned the boy to the ground and transferred all their hate onto him, beating him till he couldn't move but leaving the blond alone._

_When the boy awoke, his whole body aching and one eye swollen shut, he found himself in some sort of farmhouse laying on a bed of hay while someone dabbed at his wounds with a wet cloth. Groaning weakly, the boy turned his head and saw the blond from before treating his wounds with a small tray of water and old cloth._

_"Are you feeling okay?" The blond asked, helping the boy sit up and supporting his dislocated left arm. His voice sounded a bit funny, different syllables stressed as he spoke. He must've been a foreigner, possibly even an imported slave._

_The boy nodded despite the fiery pain lancing through his body._

_"I know you," The blond whispered, eyes meeting the ground, "You're still young. They won't pick on you. They might now, though."_

_"Why were they hurting you?" The little boy asked, unconcerned for his well-being._

_The blond shrugged. He had just been picking scraps of food off from the ground before the teenagers circled around him and shoved him to the ground out of sheer amusement. Younger orphans were always off limits, too young and innocent like baby animals. The older orphans were fair game for all, easy prey and amusement for the rich since they had no way to fight back._

_The young boy suddenly toppled over, a pain lancing through his temple. The blond immediately returned to his side, dabbing at the bruise on the left of his head, "You shouldn't have saved me."_

_"Why not?"_

_The blond looked perplexed, "Because you'd get hurt?"_

_"But you were getting hurt," The boy remarked, so innocent and oblivious, the blond couldn't help but smile back at him when the boy shot him a toothy grin, "I saved you," Indeed, the blond was far less beaten now since they had switched their aggression to the little orphan boy._

_Guilty but touched by the first taste of kindness the blond had ever had, the older boy extended a hand to shake, "My name's Felix."_

_The boy smiled back, weakly reaching forward._


	5. Chapter 5

Binding the boy to the highest cliff in Neverland was a strategic choice. In the perpetual night of Neverland, that peak was the _coldest_ and the boy was constantly forced away by icy winds blowing against his body. Peter never fed him, never gave him anything to drink, and the gag was absorbing all the moisture in his mouth. Throat dry and mind hazy from the lack of food and sleep, the boy was beginning to consider the thorns of dreamshade just within his grasp from where he was bound.

Peter made it all the worse, always bringing Felix to the cliff after cloaking him, fucking the boy senseless and dangling Felix in front of him like a toy, mocking him for what he couldn't have. He'd approach him whenever Felix was asleep, slapping him around or wiping a spot of come over his cheek, dirtying him even more. Despite his actions, the pirate boy knew the truth in Felix's heart. To doubt his beloved was sacrilege and even if he was offered freedom from this torment and all the power of Neverland, he'd never give up on Felix. He just hoped he'd live long enough to hear the words from Felix's mouth.

The malnutrition, the lack of water, the chilling temperatures, the psychological torture, the young pirate could only take so much and he began to fear for his life when Neverland blurred in his vision. Not even the chilly winds could wake him, his whole body numb.

_Wait for me, Felix. I'll be there soon._

_Wait for me. Please. I haven't forgotten about you._

_I'll always remember you, Felix_

_I'll find you._

_Love you, Felix_

_Felix…_

…

Felix gasped as he awoke, eyes snapping open and sitting up from his bed. He accidentally woke Peter who had been cuddling against his side and the boy immediately inquired, "Nightmare?"

"Y-Yeah," Felix whispered, begging for Peter not to press further.

"What was it about?" Peter asked, moving up on the boy's chest, "You haven't had a nightmare in years," His expression became solemn as the blond boy didn't respond, eyes suddenly glazing over as he focused on the images in his head, "Felix?"

Felix could never tell him that he saw his beloved cabin boy lashed to a rock, skin a sickeningly sea of blues and greens beaten mercilessly while Peter watched on, _laughing_. Last he had seen the boy, he was still round in the cheeks and young. In his dreams, the boy looked older, closer to Pan's age with just the slightest air of innocence to him. Felix's breath caught in his throat, wondering if it were a dream or a _premonition._ Was something happening to his beloved?

The last image he saw was the pirate boy strung up in the air, limp like a corpse swaying in the icy breeze. Felix screamed at the sight in his dreams before he awoke soaked in cold sweat. He wanted to say it was nothing but a bad dream _but the sight of his beloved friend tortured to death_ drove him to tears. He clutched at his face, sobbing pathetically. He hadn't cried this hard since the day Pan saved him from the gallows.

"Felix!" Peter cried out, circling his arms around him and gasping as the boy shook him off, kicking over the side of the bed and dressing himself, "Wait. Where are you going!" He shouted, taking the boy's arm and pulling him back.

"I need to leave," Felix choked out, scrubbing the tears from his face.

"Leave where?" Peter asked, "I'll escort you there."

" _No_ ," Felix replied, voice breaking from tears but still trying to be firm, "I need to _leave_."

Peter understood it too well and his heart sunk into his stomach at the thought, "No. You can't."

"I have to! He's dying out there. I need to…" Felix choked on his words, tearing away and gripping into his hair, "I've been so _selfish_ , living out my life in comfort here while he was _out there_ , all alone. I have to go to him."

" _No_ ," Peter's voice was dark and stern.

Felix threw his arms around Peter, gripping into him and burying his face into his shoulder, "I'm _begging you_. Let me go to him," From the start, Felix knew he'd never be able to fool Peter but the magical boy played along for his sake. Peter knew of his secret beloved and played ignorant so they could keep their relationship. Felix just couldn't do it anymore, his true feelings bleeding out after his horrific nightmare, "I'll come right back as soon as he's safe."

The boy might come back to Neverland but he'd leave his heart behind and that was something Peter just could not accept, _to be loved out of obligation._ Peter shoved him to the ground carelessly, the boy's head striking the wood with a violent crack. Snarling, Peter left the tree house in a puff of smoke, flying to the peak where the cabin boy was bound, dilapidated by the constant abuse. The young pirate was roused awake by the stirring of Peter's smoke and was immediately greeted with a heavy fist to his face, snapping his head back.

" _You_ ," Peter growled, throwing another punch at the boy's face, "What kind of spell do you hold over Felix? What have you done for him that makes him pine for you so much!" He barked, throwing punch after punch all over the boy's body. The young pirate could barely react, too tired to struggle or fight back and taking each strike head-on without a single grunt, "I don't understand. _I gave him everything_."

He knew the pirate boy wasn't listening, couldn't listen given his awful state. Still, Peter ranted at him and condemned him, tearing away the dreamshade so the boy couldn't end his own life. He wanted him to rot on this stone till he was nothing but a dried up corpse, _his face mutilated by crows or weather._

"I won't have this," Peter shouted, tossing the dreamshade aside as the island was shrouded with ominous clouds. A storm ravaged Neverland, gale-force winds ripping at trees and a mix of hail and rain pelting down endlessly. The boy was defenceless against the hellish weather but his mind was too numb to care, simply waiting for death while pining for the boy he loved, his last coherent thought.

 

"Forget the weapons, take the tools and food and find shelter!" Felix commanded, ushering the boys out from the flooded campgrounds, half their food supply destroyed by the torrential wave. The tents were torn apart by the hale and wind, leaving nothing but ruins behind.

He found Lucas struggling to pull his feet from the mud, Curly having to drop his supplies and run back to fish the boy out from the water. Felix immediately felt a pang in his heart, realizing that this destructive weather was _his fault_ for wanting to find his beloved friend.

He was being selfish if he stayed. He was being selfish if he left. Felix didn't know what to do.

All the boys stuffed themselves inside of a high cave, the only cave that stood above the flooded forest and big enough to just barely fit the boys. With a small fire at the head, Felix took the responsibility of counting heads and making sure everyone was safe.

"Any injuries?" Felix asked.

Nibs shook his head, carefully hanging up the dried meat he salvaged, "The younger ones are a bit tired but the rest of us are fine. Just a bit battered is all."

"Damn, Pan's really pissed," One of the lost boys remarked.

_And it was all his fault. All for a goddamn dream._

"Felix, what should we do now?" Curly asked, shaking their leader out from his daze, "There's no way we have enough food here and we can't start a big enough fire."

The best course of action was to find another campsite, possibly someplace in the rocky cliffs of Neverland which could shield them from the hail and rain, "I want the older ones to find a vantage point, look for a new place to set up camp and return as soon as you can," He fixed his cloak, taking an extra shawl when Curly handed one over, "I'm going to find Pan. He'll fix this."

No one wanted to be out in that awful storm but all of them knew if they sat idly by, everything would only get worst. While the boys hunting for a vantage point had the cover of the crags within the cliff, Felix had no protection against the flooded forest floor and the ceaseless rain and hail. By the time he reached his destination, his boots were soaked through and he was shivering uncontrollably.

_The Thinking Tree_. It was where Peter went to be alone.

Felix stumbled over to the tree, pressing himself against the bark as he peered into the tops looking for the magical boy, "Peter?"He called out, teeth chattering so hard that he nearly bit off his own tongue. He reached for a branch above him, hoping to at least pull himself out from the water. This storm was his fault for wanting another instead of Peter. If he never said anything, if he dismissed his dream as just a dream, Peter wouldn't be so distraught.

The moment the feelings of regret filled Felix's heart, vines suddenly sprung from the branches and grabbed him, lashing him against the tree with his arms restrained at his sides. He struggled violently feeling the vines _squeeze_ at his ribs.

"Here for more pixie dust?" Peter's voice called out, the magical boy suddenly appearing in front of him. He was completely dry, rainwater phasing through his body as if he were a ghost.

"I came here for you-" Felix cut himself off as the vines squeezed tighter against his chest, compressing the air out of him, "Pe- _ter_ ," Felix whined, voice breaking as the pressure against his chest only got worst.

Peter lifted his hand, letting the vines slacken just enough for Felix to take a deep breath, "Who is he?"

Felix couldn't stop staring at Peter. It was wrong of him to hide this for so long, thinking he could selfishly keep both of them in heart as long as neither of them ever knew, "I met him when I was just a kid. We grew up in the streets together. His name's-"

"I _meant_ ," Peter snapped, cutting him off, "Who is he to you?"

Swallowing the dryness in his throat, fighting the urge to tear his gaze away in shame as Peter drilled into his mind with unblinking eyes, "He's my closest friend," Felix murmured, voice getting more quiet as he continued.

"Do you love him?"

_Love,_ that cursed word that wrecked both of them. Ashamed, Felix nodded slowly but he knew it was a lie. What he felt for his childhood friend, the boy who stood by him, fought beside him, saw the world with him, was _more_ than love.

Peter never let sadness take hold of him, letting anger displace it. His whole body was stiff as the storm around them raged hard, chips of ice raining from the sky and ripping the forest apart, "What about us? Or did you only take to me because I resemble him?" He stepped forward, punching the tree hard enough to shatter the bark, "Is that why you always wanted to look at my face when we fucked, so you could imagine that it was _him_?"

"No!" Felix shouted back, grunting when the vines tightened around him once more. He remembered that time at the gallows, memories he tried so hard to suppress. It really wasn't Pan's face he saw in the crowd and he knew Pan had realized that as well, "I just- I do… I do love you. You'll always be my king," The ice stopped for a moment, returning to manageable bits of hail falling from the sky, "But _him_ , we've shared so much together. We spent years on the sea with nothing but each other. He had no reason to stand by me, no strength to protect me, but he did it anyway," A fond look flashed across Felix's face. Peter had never seen his Lost Boy leader look at him like that before.

"What about everything we've done?" Peter asked, brows furrowed, "All of our adventures, the Lost Boys. I can give you anything you want."

"When I was with him, I didn't need to _want_ because I had him and that was all I _needed_ ," Felix replied, "The sea was exciting, and we had adventures all across the world seeing things no one would ever even imagine. Neverland is static, under your control, just a… _toy box,_ " Felix was shaking his head, his heartbreaking when he saw Peter deflate at his words, "You'll never understand."

Felix couldn't read Peter's expression so he judged from the weather, rain now coming down in an even shower, merely soaking the trees instead of pelting them. His eyes drifted back to Peter who continued staring at him, looking betrayed and feeling stupid. Everyone knew of his affair with Felix; how could he ever face his lost boys ever again knowing that Felix loved someone else the entire time?

The magical boy tore away, letting the rain pelt him and wash away the heat of humiliation from his body. Worst of all was that he finally realized what he felt for Felix really was love, not just disposable lust.

"I-I won't leave. I'll stay here with you," Felix said weakly, "I owe you that much."

_To be loved by obligation._ That was the only leg-up he had against that wretched pirate boy. In every other scenario, Felix wouldn't have chosen Peter. Felix could read it in Peter's eyes: _How can I make you love me more?_ He'd never be able to replace those priceless memories on the seas.

A puff of green smoke enclosed both of them, taking Felix and Peter back to the tree house. Waving his hand, all the window shutters and doors immediately closed, sealing out the storm. With a second wave, Peter summoned a flame in the fireplace, warming the entire tree house.

"Sit by the fire," Peter commanded, noting how hard the lanky boy was shivering in his heavily-soaked clothes.

Obeying, Felix stepped out of his clothes, bundling them up before placing them beside the fire to dry off. He wrapped himself in one of the animal furs draped on the end of Peter's bed and sat by the fire, absorbing all the heat. Immediately, his mind wandered to the Lost Boys still enduring the awful storm. He hoped they had found a better location to camp, somewhere they could properly make a fire.

"I want you to tell me everything," Peter said as he dropped down beside Felix, sitting on the floor and crossing his legs, "Start right from the beginning. How you met the boy, when you fell in love with him, _everything_ ," He glanced over to Felix, body unmoving except for his eyes, "You're not to leave this tree house until I've heard everything. Understand?"

Nodding weakly, Felix turned back to the fire, collecting his memories and baring them all to Pan.

 

"Looks like the ice stopped," Tootles declared, stepping out from the niche the boys had hidden themselves in when sharp ice pelted down from the skies, "Shit. Is it the end of the world?"

The senior Lost Boys made their way up the cliff. At first they tried to lighten the mood with jokes and coy remarks but when the weather had broken them down, all of them remained silent as they hiked forward.

"The south doesn't look good," Curly declared, scaling down the cliff wall, "We need to check the north," He approached Tootles, scoping out the rest of the path, "We have to make it to the top, don't we?"

Tootles sighed heavily, kneeling down to help Nibs up the wall, "Slightly made his way up already. He said we should just wait on him-"

"CURLY!" A voice shouted through the storm, startling all the boys on the south edge.

"Slightly?" Curly responded, slowly scaling the wall to the other side, "What is it?" Just barely making it up, Curly rounded the cliff till he found Slightly at the cliff, gaping towards the wall.

_A boy_ , just barely younger than them, lashed to the stone wall. He looked like a corpse but the slightest heave in his chest proved that he was still alive. His body was battered and broken, coated in a thin sheen of ice from the hellish conditions he was forced to endure.

"Who is this?" Slightly asked, "I don't remember him."

Curly closed in on the boy, pressing a hand to his forehead noting an extremely high fever. At least the boy was still alive, "I don't know. I've never seen…" Eyes narrowing, he pulled the boy's hair back. Under the sunburns and fair-coloured dreads, "… _he looks like Pan_."

" _What_?" Slightly replied, "What does that mean?"

"Cut the boy down," Curly commanded, stepping back as Slightly drew his dagger and slashed apart the vines holding him in place. He surveyed the island from this new angle, noting a cave right by Dark Hollow big enough to house the boys and high enough to avoid flooding. With this potential campsite and a mysterious boy, the senior Lost Boys returned to their temporary home and started their journey forward.


	6. Chapter 6

The first thing the pirate boy felt was a damp cloth dabbing at his swollen eye. He growled, trying to swat them away but finding his arms heavy like lead, numb from the vines lashing him to the rock. _Vines lashing him to the rock, binding him still, fists beating him bloody, ice ripping at his flesh._ The boy choked suddenly, his body convulsing as he fought against invisible restraints.

"Curly!" A young boy's voice, worried, soft footsteps padding back.

Back in the darkness, the boy could see _him_ , a demon wearing his face strangling him, screaming, _crying_. Two boys in love with the same person and unwilling to stand down. But he had the edge because the demon boy was scared, doubtful, unlike him who put his trust in Felix fully. The thought gave him only a mere moment of light before the icy darkness found him once more, ripping into his flesh with nails.

"Hold him still," An older boy shouted before white-hot hands settled on his shoulders, "Get that blanket by the fire."

Moments later, a shroud of heat covered the boy, driving off the hands with icy talons. Finally feeling the vines lashing around his chest slacken, the boy took a deep breath and absorbed all of that life-giving heat, the sun in the form of a blanket.

Eyes snapping open, the Cabin Boy convulsed as he awoke, back arching off the soft animal fur he had been laying on. He twisted to his side and threw up thin, watery bile. Since he came to Neverland, he hadn't eaten once and survived on rain water from where he was bound.

"Hey, hey, careful," A hand was on his back, rubbing circles between his shoulder blades as the boy heaved on the ground, "Are you alright, Pan?"

 _Pan?_ The boy's head whipped around frantically, searching for his aggressor in a panic. His eyes searched the boys in front of him, finding no familiar faces but no threatening ones either, "P-Pan?"

The boy immediately looked to each other, confused, "Aren't you Pan?" The pirate boy shook his head, immediately settling back on his back when a dizzy spell took over, "Then, who are you?"

The boy groaned, shutting his eyes tightly as he rubbed at his swollen eye, "I'm not from here. I came to Neverland looking for someone." The boys murmured amongst themselves. The boy suddenly coughed hoarsely, convulsing once more as he was caught in a fit of coughs.

A hand came over his head, testing for a fever before rolling the boy into a blanket, "Get some rest first. We'll get you something to eat."

When the boy fell asleep, Curly pulled away with Tootles, letting Lucas and the other younger ones take care of the strange boy, "That's not Pan?" Tootles inquired, "What if he's the one causing the storm? There's no way this is a coincidence."

"We don't know. Felix was going to check on that," Curly replied.

Tootles snorted, "Yeah. And he hasn't come back yet. That doesn't bode well."

"Can you stop being so pessimistic? You're scaring the little ones."

"Pft, yes, _mom_ ," Tootles replied, folding his arms, "Pessimistic or not. This boy looks a hella lot like Pan, was tied up and tortured on that cliff, and his appearance just happens to coincide with this giant storm."

It was true that this was far too coincidental. Curly was never much for making decisions despite being the senior Lost Boy just after Felix. He usually let said boy make the decisions for him. In the end, he decided to take care of the boy, at least wait for Pan or Felix to do whatever they want with him. Right now, as long as the storm didn't get worse, the boy would live.

The boy's health returned remarkably fast, reinforced by the magic of Neverland plus his own natural resilience. As soon as he could sit up again without throwing up, he made conversation with the little ones, telling them stories about where he came from.

"What's it like being a pirate?" The smallest one, Lucas, asked, sitting by the huddle of boys listening to the sickly pirate's story, "Do you know Captain Hook?"

The cabin boy nodded, sitting against a stone near the fire with a bowl of porridge in hand, "Never heard of him actually but my captain has a peg-leg."

Enchanted by his stories, the little ones didn't notice Curly approaching from behind, ruffling Lucas's hair as he always did to alert him, "Come on. He needs to sleep. Stop bothering him."

"Awww, but Curly!" The boys all shouted. Despite their protests, they did eventually break off, returning to their duties as Curly sat down in front of the pirate boy.

"So, you're the leader?" The pirate boy inquired.

"Temporary leader," Curly replied, crossing his legs, "Felix is our leader but he left to find Pan," At the mention of Felix's name, a smile stretched across the cabin boy's face, "Do you know Felix?"

The cabin boy nodded back eagerly, "Yes! I've been searching for him for years," With his mind cleared, the boy reached into his jacket and removed a long-forgotten compass from his pocket. He flipped it open, glad to see the needle was still, " _I love him_."

Curly stiffened at the declaration, knowing of Pan and Felix's affair, "But, him and Pan."

"I know," The boy repeated, voice breaking for a moment as he was reminded of Pan rutting into Felix on the cliff, claiming him over and over, "But, I trust him and until he rejects me up front, I won't ever doubt him."

It was obvious now why that boy was lashed to the cliff and tortured. He wondered if that was the same fate that befell Rufio, another boy who fancied Felix and disappeared shortly after. Shaking off the idea, Curly pressed forward, "You realize no one can leave Neverland after they set foot on it, right? What were you planning after you found Felix?"

An innocent, ignorant shrug, "Don't know. I'll figure it out later."

Curly chuckled at the nonchalant reaction to the major hole in his plan. This rambunctious brat would've made a perfect Lost Boy, "I guess we'll just wait for Felix to get back."

"Where is he?"

"He went to find Pan. It's been a week since we last saw him though the storm had been letting up so I'm assuming it's going well," Curly explained, shocked when the pirate boy jumped to his feet, "What did I say?" Pulling on his ratty yellow jacket and a stray cloak, the boy made his way to the exit of the cave. Immediately, Curly dove after him, grabbing his shoulder, "You can't go out there yet. You still have a fever."

The cabin boy shook his head, ignoring the swelling ache in his temples as he pulled away from Curly, "I need to _save_ him from Pan."

Curly chuckled at the contradictory statement, "Listen kid, you don't know Pan like we know him. That jackass wouldn't blink an eye if any of us were killed but if Felix gets even the tiniest scratch, Pan goes berserk. He _loves_ Felix more than anything in the world," He cleared his throat loudly, "Now, you didn't hear that from me, alright?"

He couldn't heed his warnings, couldn't afford to, so the cabin boy backed away, "Thank you for taking care of me," The itch under the bandage coiled over his eye was agitated by the mist, "But, I really have to find Felix."

The temporary leader didn't stop him. He had the rest of the boys to look after and this outsider as the last of his priorities. The cabin boy dashed off into the woods with his compass in hand.

 

Felix's story was an endless, romantic tale of two street urchins both with nothing to their name, nothing to live for, nothing to die for, finding each other and finally giving themselves purpose. It didn't matter that they were orphans or pirates or criminals in a world that condemned them. It didn't matter if one of them did the worst deeds imaginable because the other would always be there, supporting him, loving him regardless. It was pure, unconditional love, friends who would stand by each other till the end of time.

Peter thought that was what Felix thought of him. He never realized someone had already claimed that place in Felix's heart.

"Why?" Peter asked, laying on the bed against Felix's chest, peering out one of the storm shutters they had opened to stare at the stormy sky reflecting Peter's unhappiness, "Why can't Neverland give you this?"

Felix's hand weaved through Peter's hair, straightening the sides softly. He had pondered this for the last few days, telling stories about him and his beloved but never understanding _why_ their adventures mattered so much more than Peter's, "I don't know," Felix murmured, knowing that his answer didn't satisfy Peter, "He was just everything I needed in that life."

"Then, let's go on our own adventure," Peter said, pushing himself up, "We'll go find a realm with oceans and pirates, join a crew, and do the same."

"It's not the same," Felix replied almost on reflex. Peter had been bombarding him with absurd suggestions trying to compensate for what he was lacking. How could an immortal trickster who was god of his own realm ever understand a _bond_ built from fighting back to back against the world, never abandoning the other despite the most futile of odds.

Huffing, Peter pulled away from Felix, rolling onto his side and pulling the pillow out from under Felix's head.

"I still _belong to you_ , Peter," Felix said weakly, sighing when Peter didn't react.

"Not your heart," Peter grumbled back.

He heard Felix tumble down into the sheets, rolling up the blanket into a mound to rest his head against. Peter sighed heavily, realizing that Felix was done for the night. They'd been going in circles for days and Peter was beginning to realize that there was _nothing_ he could do to be the one Felix wanted most. Ironic, that he let two people in his life worm their way into his heart and both of them loved another.

 _At least Felix is still here_. Peter told himself, shifting around and watching Felix when he heard the boy snoring. There was a tiny voice inside of him, the single shred of purity and kindness left in him that told him to let Felix go, let him return to his beloved because that would make him happier than anything else. Everything else in Peter's existence disagreed: _Let the boy stay out of gratitude and loyalty_. He had his body and his mind on Neverland; that was enough for him.

And the darkest part of Peter, the one that spoke like inky shadows and darkest sin, told him to _kill_ the pirate boy so no one could ever steal Felix away and he'd have all the time in the world to take back Felix's heart.

_You deserve Felix more than him._

He stroked Felix's hair gently before sliding off the bed and clothing himself magically, "Forgive me, Felix," He whispered, kneeling by the bed and pressing soft kisses to his brow, "I'm only doing this because I love you more."

_What has that brat done other than be a burden? You can give Felix everything he wants._

Peter opened the storm shutters, noticing that the storm had settled to a light shower. His murderous thoughts and his final solution gave him peace and thus, Neverland shared it.

_He belongs to you so you have every right to do as you wish._

The boy was probably half-dead anyway. He might as well finish the job.

 

Even though the pirate boy wanted to be the bigger man, to brush off Peter claiming Felix with sex, he couldn't deny the sting of jealousy at the thought of Peter crushing Felix with his body, tasting and caressing him all over. He was still just a teenage boy after all, pining for more than just Felix's companionship.

Felix had never looked at him the way he looked at Peter, eyes clouded from pleasure, lazy almost goofy smile on his face as Peter whispered sweet words into his ears. It made the cabin boy wonder if Pan was telling the truth, that Felix really had forgotten him and that letter was just a random whim. If Felix really didn't want him, the boy didn't know what to do.

 _No, I can't doubt him._ What he shared with Felix was special and he couldn't let jealousy rule his thoughts. He blamed it on the fever that still lingered. He could only hope that he'd make it to Felix in time.

Staring at the compass, the cabin boy almost missed the sight of Peter Pan leaning against a tree lost in thought. Panicking, he dove behind a tree, watching cautiously as the boy continued to stand there lost in thought, thinking through all his options, _fighting with voices in his head_ , "Shit," The boy whispered, too scared to move while Pan was still in eyeshot. He switched his path, taking a long route around the demon boy before collapsing against a tree when he was out of eyeshot. He cursed himself for being so afraid of the demon boy, his ruthless torture conditioning the response in him.

He shut his eyes tightly and pressed his forehead against the bark of the tree, sobbing dryly at _everything_ that he'd been through just to get to this point. He'd spent years alone on the sea, thinking Felix had died, hoping for nothing. When he finally found him, the demon that held him captive put him through a gantlet, trying to beat his affection out of him. However, the boy would _never_ say that he regret this.

_Anything for Felix._

Following the needle of his compass, he eventually came upon a tree house. An open shutter on the right revealed a flickering warm light inside most likely a fireplace of some sort. The needle followed this wooden structure and the cabin boy's heart lifted, filling with long forgotten happiness.

He made it. He found him.

Despite the injuries all over his body, he forced himself to climb up the ladder and into the open window. Immediately, the heat billowing from the fireplace thawed his icy skin and he quickly dropped his sopping wet jacket and borrowed cloak to the ground. He approached the fire first, instinctively drawn to the heat till he noticed the bed on the side, focusing at the lanky form and mess of golden hair just peaking out from under the sheets.

The blond stirred in bed at the heavy footsteps coming over, boots not light enough to be Peter's. He opened his eyes slowly, flinching just a bit as a wet, icy hand stroked his cheek. Felix in contrast was hot to the touch, feeling like melted gold in his hands, hot enough to almost burn.

As Felix's eyes focused, the first thing he saw was the boy's face, _Pan's face_. He'd seen that face every day, memorized it along Neverland's wondrous landscape, but for the first time in years, it felt as if it was finally in the proper context, finally _right_.

"… _Piers?_ "

The pirate boy nodded eagerly, eyes filling with tears as the taller boy sat up slowly, clasping his hand around the icy one cupped on his cheek, "Felix!" He cried out, throwing his arms around his long-lost beloved friend and embracing him till he thought he might break.

 _Am I dreaming?_ The chilly bundle in his arms felt too real to be a dream, hot tears against his chest, and his arms coming up on their own to embrace the pirate boy, _this couldn't be a dream_ , "You found me," Felix sighed, still unable to believe it. He'd given up hope, thinking the boy had perished without Felix to protect him. He choked on his breath, fighting tears as he crushed the boy against his body, burying his face into his shoulder, " _You really found me_ ," The boy's last words to him back in their world still fresh in his mind, "How did you get to Neverland?"

Piers snickered to himself, pulling away and resting his forehead against Felix's as he smirked, "Sea turtles," Forgetting his guilt for just a moment, Felix smiled back and laughed, the tips of their noses and foreheads still touching as the two snickered away like boys their age. Hardships had wrecked their childhood but with each other, they found their innocence once more, "I saved a missionary a while ago. His mermaid girlfriend brought me here."

Felix rolled his eyes and the seemingly nonsensical explanation and brushed his fingers over the boy's forehead noting the abnormal amount of heat. He stripped off the boy's outer layers, leaving him in just the clothing that remained dry before hooking his arms around him and hauling him under the sheets like a stuffed toy, "Get under here, _love_. You're freezing."

Bundled up in the blanket, Piers sat up slowly. It had been so long since Felix had doted on the boy, taking on the responsibility as the senior to nurture the junior. Even then, the concept was so engraved in Felix's mind that he doted on the boy without prompt. To that engrained behaviour, the pirate boy snickered once more, not even caring that this bed was where Peter would take Felix.

"You haven't changed at all," Piers remarked, "I heard you're the leader of the Lost Boys."

Years had passed for Piers but Neverland had absorbed them. Piers was once younger than Felix but now, the boys were almost the same age, "That's right. It's almost like my own pirate crew," He reached for instinctively, ruffling the boy's hair the same way he'd seen the others do to the younger boys, "Did they tell you to come here?"

Piers shook his head, reaching into his jacket on the floor and withdrawing a compass, "I got this from Jack Sparrow."

" _Captain_ Jack Sparrow?" Felix asked in disbelief.

The boy nodded back eagerly, "It's a magical compass that points to what you want most."

At his careless words, Felix stopped, eyes wide and mouth gaping. When the cabin boy realized what he had said, his face lit up crimson and he scrambled to fix his accidental declaration. _No._ He suddenly stopped. He'd waited so long and it was because he hesitated all those years ago that Felix never heard his confession. Swallowing his fear, Piers stared back into Felix's eyes with a confidence the boy had never seen before _on that face_.

"Back then, I was too scared to admit how I felt for you but not anymore," He started, taking Felix's hands into his own, " _I love you_ , Felix. I always have and I always will."

Memories that Felix had long forgotten, so many more than what he had told Peter, things that he hadn't even realized were lost came flooding back. The endless years on the sea, a relationship beyond love, Felix choked on his breath and he spoke involuntarily, "I love you too," A betrayal to Peter Pan but a long forgotten wish finally fulfilled.

They stared at each other goofily till the confessions finally sunk in, realizing they'd yearned to exchange those words _since the day they met_ and both of them were far too childish to speak up. To finally admit their love, they were _growing up_ , no longer boys lost on the sea. It finally sunk in that this was never a childhood crush. This was _love_. The smiles faded as realization filled their eyes, finally feeling the pain of separation after so many years of muffling it with childish intent, and they closed in on each other and joined their lips with a kiss, sealing their contract to one another.

 _I'm sorry Peter. I love him more._ Right now, with everything from his past caught up, Felix made his decision. He was forever indebted to Peter but to be separated from this boy again would surely kill him.

Giggling, Piers pulled away shyly, "When we get home, I want another kiss."

 _Home?_ His eyes widened at the reminder of the demon boy and the promise he made to pay his debts and _protect Piers from retaliation_ , "I can't go," The humour died in his chest.

Confused, Piers's brow quirked upward, "Why not? It'll just be like old times."

This was his punishment for giving up hope, for choosing Pan and unknowingly playing with his heart, "I can't go with you. Pan needs me," He hoped he could keep his voice _convincing,_ "He's my king. I have to stay."

Piers looked more confused, more upset, but didn't know what to stay, "But…" He sounded like a child all over again.

Felix nearly continued till he saw the figure at the window, watching them, _seething_ , "Peter…" Felix gasped, immediately feeling Piers stiffen in his arms. He rolled Piers onto his side, getting out of the bed, "Peter. I already told-" A palm struck his chest, hitting with enough force to land back on the bed. A second wave of magic struck him, restraining him to the bed.

"Felix!" Piers shouted, barely able to twist around and look at Felix before a hand grasped the back of his shirt, hurling him onto the floor with an ungodly amount of strength. His shoulder hit the floor at a straight angle and it immediately felt numb but the boy had no time to react as he was dragged off the ground using the same momentum and pinned to the wall.

Struggling against his magical restraints, Felix's voice broke as he frantically screamed at Peter, begging him to _stop._ His demands only made Peter angrier; Felix _never_ raised his voice at him, never tried to command him. _But for this wretched pirate boy_ , he'd defy his king.

"STOP!" Felix screamed as Peter pinned the boy by his neck with one hand and reached into his chest, jerking out the shadow of his whole upper torso in one go. He wasn't going to savour this kill; he just wanted this boy _dead_. Piers was screaming from the pain, whole body tense as he felt like every nerve in his flesh was being ripped from his body, "I'll stay in Neverland! I'll do anything you want! _Please_ , don't do this!"

The Lost Boy leader was always so stoic, so collected. It broke Peter's heart to hear him so desperate and weak. Whatever good that was left within him made Peter let the boy go, releasing his shadow and letting it snap back into place. He released Piers, letting the pirate boy slump to the ground numb from pain and panting.

He approached Felix slowly, eyes locked on and unblinking. The magic pinning Felix to the ground had been cancelled but the lanky boy couldn't move, too frightened by the demon boy who never once hurt him. _There were tears in Felix's eyes_. When had the lost boy ever cried for him?

The memories came back to him slowly, all those times he knew Felix was seeing someone else when he saw Peter's face but he pushed them aside, foolishly letting his heart take over his mind. He really had to kill that nasty habit. With heartbreak clearly on his face, Peter looked _younger,_ younger than Piers, like a child who had just lost the world.

The same look Piers had when Felix was taken away by slavers.

"I told him I'm going to stay," Felix murmured cautiously, "I'll never leave you. Just let Piers go,"

Love built from a transaction, built on gratitude, loyalty, _guilt._ This was as good as it was going to get _but that pirate brat didn't have to know_. Peter glanced over to Piers absently, condescension creeping back into his expression. He'd take any victory he could over the boy, make him believe that he'd lost Felix to him.

A smirk crept on his face, hiding his heartbreak perfectly, "Tell me who you belong to."

"I belong to you," Felix replied without hesitation, trying his best to pretend that Piers wasn't watching, "Now and forever. Always yours," He whined when Peter closed in on his body, crushing him onto the mattress as he worked his lips thoroughly with his own, gnawing at them, lapping at them till they were wet, reddened from abuse, and pleased.

Peter's hands worked slowly, groping and rubbing everywhere Felix loved to be touched, everywhere only _Peter_ knew. It was the only other thing he could hold over the boy as he glared in his direction. Felix's supple flesh, lithe body, Peter had already tasted every inch and that brat would never get even the slightest touch.

Piers was turned away, face red with humiliation, "Jealous?" Peter called out, "That this lovely body will never be yours?" He looked back to Felix, noticing how the blond refused to look at Piers lest his eyes betray his true emotions, "I love you," Peter sighed, flinching when Felix hesitated to reply.

"I love you too," He finally choked out for the second time that night. He threw his arms around Peter, silencing their words with another lengthy kiss while Peter continued scouring his body with his hands.

Charging Felix with magic, sending waves of arousal through both their forms, Felix threw his head back and groaned as his thin clothes were torn off, leaving him bared to his lovers. Peter was already hard, desperate to fuck all the memories of his past life right out of him. He'd settle for claiming him in front of the boy once more, letting Piers know that Felix would willingly have sex with Peter in front of him.

He shoved Felix onto the bed and rocked against him, using enough magic just to lubricate and move smoothly. He punished all of Felix's hotspots, turning the boy into a delirious, blubbering mess of ecstasy, toes curled and digging into the sheets as Peter rutted into him, pounding against his flesh harder than he'd ever had. He needed to engrave this image into Piers's head, let him know that Felix wanted this, wanted _him_ , wanted him _more_ than the pirate boy.

" _I am yours_ ," Felix sighed out between his moans, syllables stretched and whined as Peter blew his mind.

Eyes sparkling, Peter commanded, "Again."

Again and again, Felix repeated it till Peter was satisfied.

Turning around, Peter watched Piers with sadistic glee. The boy was huddled at the wall, covering his ears and shutting his eyes tightly, trying to block out the wretched torture he had subjected the boy to for days: To watch him lose his beloved over and over and over.

Whatever Pan felt, he'd impose on the boy as well.

At the onset of climax, both of them rutting and grinding erratically against each other while moans came out high and breathy, Peter took Felix by the hips and doubled his pace, whispering one final command, " _I will not see that pirate boy ever again,_ say it."

Felix's eyes snapped open at the command, clouded with lust but lucid enough to show apprehension at the statement. At the hesitation, Peter growled and fucked him harder, making him scream with every strike, pain shooting up alongside his pleasure. It was the most violent orgasm Peter had given him, unrelenting thrusts, hate gathered in Peter's eyes. The boy seemed more like he wanted to destroy Felix, not pleasure him.

Felix came hard and fast, afterglow short which left him feeling miserable and spent. He felt Peter come inside him, filling him and claiming him before pulling away and cleaning himself off. From the look on his face, Felix knew it was the same for him: Sex without enjoyment or pleasure. He wondered if it would be like this from now on, another punishment for his awful actions.

Tossing his head back with a faux moan, Peter turned around and swung his legs over the side of the bed, his pants materializing around his waist while Felix remained on the bed sweaty and limp, "Did you enjoy that?" The cabin boy didn't say, huddled in the corner still with his hands over his ears, jealousy and sadness filling his heart, "Felix is going to stay here with me. You can go home now."

"No," Piers murmured. Felix's eyes widened in fear; no one defying Pan could live ever with Felix's tribute, "If you truly loved him, you'd let him go."

Peter's eyes narrowed, "Felix wants to stay here with me. Isn't that right?" He looked over to Felix, smiling when the lanky boy nodded back, "See?"

Removing his hands from his ears, Piers glanced over to Peter with a confidence that made the demon boy hiss, "I trust Felix. I know his heart and I know this isn't what he wants. He's doing this because he's grateful to you and he's willing to give up what he really wants to pay back his debt."

"That's quite an imagination you have but Felix loves _me,_ not you. We've done things that you can't even imagine. Why not swallow your own words and let Felix go?"

"Because if I do, he won't be happy," Piers replied, finding courage once more as he stood, "He's happy with me and if you truly loved him like you say you do, then you'd let him be happy."

"Pretty words, but nothing but lies. If you can prove that Felix loves you more, then _fine_. I'll let him go with you."

Felix flinched but couldn't speak a word, covering himself up with the blanket. He wished Piers would just _go_ , save himself before it was too late. The boy really did know him so well but this would not erase his commitment to Pan. He wouldn't leave _unless Pan let him leave._

"I can prove it," Piers reached into his jacket, withdrawing a compass, "This compass points to the thing you want most. Give it to Felix and let it choose who he wants to go with." Peter froze at the sight, regretting his words immediately and darting over to Felix, begging for the boy to play along. Felix couldn't do a thing, terrified of what might happen, "Go on. Let him hold it. If it points to you, he stays on Neverland and if it points to me, he comes with me."

Approaching the pirate boy, Peter took the compass, flipping it open and watching the needle find his beloved Lost Boy Leader. Felix was trembling in the bed, both of them knowing that _Peter would lose_ and terrified of what that would mean. The voices returned, screaming at Peter, begging him to kill the boy and be done with this, send the boy back home so Felix would be all his just as he promised. Love born from loyalty was good enough for him.

_But he won't be happy._

He was happy before.

_If you really love him then let him go._

But _I_ love him. Why can't I have him?

Growling in frustration, Peter took the compass and hurled it against the wall, the cap breaking off at the contact. Felix jumped to his feet, leaping at Pan and clutching his knees in supplication, begging him to spare his beloved friend till a green smoke covered all of them. When it cleared, both Felix and Piers were found by the Thinking Tree fully clothed and sitting in the dirt. The storm had cleared, clouds slowly dissipating in the night sky.

"Pan?" Felix called out cautiously, looking over to Piers and wondering why they were here.

"Up here," His voice called as he descended from the branches, grabbing Piers's wrist and forcing a blossom of pixie dust into his hands, "Leave. Both of you. I never want to see either of you ever again."

Felix almost couldn't believe it, staring down at the generous amount of pixie dust Pan placed in their grasp. The look on Peter's face was new: _Resignation, defeat_. He could never compete with the cabin boy and he accepted defeat, "It doesn't have to be like this, _Peter_ ," This was a new kind of heartbreak, to bear the guilt of betraying the trust of his leader, breaking the heart of the one who would've given him the world, "Peter!"

_Call me 'love', just one more time._

Breaths came out harsh as Peter watched Felix, realizing that this was the last time he would see him, the only thing he ever wanted. He smirked, pretending to be proud and heartless, "Whatever. I guess it was fun while it lasted. I'll just go find another boy; I bet there are plenty who are just as good at sex. You can leave now."

Piers looked to the Thinking Tree, gasping when vines started reaching out. He retracted at first, thinking they were going after him and that Peter had just lured him into another trap. Instead, they reached for _Peter_ and the demon boy paled at the implication.

Felix's breath hitched, " _Peter…_ "

"Just get the hell off my island!" Peter barked, tearing away from the Thinking Tree and disappearing into smoke.

The vines dropped; the demon boy was gone from Felix's life and he'd never see him again. Piers looked to Felix, concerned for his heartbroken expression, "If you want to stay, I-I won't stop you."

" _No_ ," Felix whispered, taking Piers's hand, "Peter's my king and I'll always follow his command."

_Leave the island. Be happy._

_Don't ever forget me._

 

"Would you look at that!" Scrum shouted, slapping Piers and Felix on the back, "So he really was real! And we all thought he got sun stroke."

Piers chuckled lightly, swatting off the pirate's hand, "Felix, this is Scrum. Scrum, Felix."

"Hey, do you want to hear the poetry he was writing for you?" Scrum suddenly asked, holding up the condemning journal.

"NO!" Piers shouted, leaping at Scrum as the slightly drunken man began reading off the most embarrassing passages in the book. Felix nearly fell over in laughter along side the rest of the crew, taking pleasure in the poor boy's naivety.

Sharing a drink with the crew, breaking out the rum for this special occasion of the return of their cabin boy plus a friend, Felix had long missed the taste of rum and the spray of the sea, reminding him of all the freedom and glory he once had before he went to Neverland.

 _Neverland…_ it always smelled sweet in Neverland, always tasted warm and hearty, like the hearth of a home. He knew when Peter first took him to Neverland, it took him a few weeks to get used to life off the salty sea. He wondered how long till he'd stop thinking of Neverland, how long till the memories of Pan and the lost boys would fade.

He broke off from the crew, returning to the deck where he watched the moon high above in the night sky. _The perpetual night of Neverland._

Peter let him go home, against all odds, against everything Felix believed, Peter spared his beloved and let both of them go. He felt foolish for doubting his king; _Peter never doubted him_ , was always willing to look the other way and hope that Felix would eventually choose him. Sighing, Felix reached out to the pair of stars in the sky. He wished their goodbye wasn't so rushed but anything else and it would've been cruel to the magical boy. _Thank you for everything, Peter_.

"Hey," Piers whispered, following Felix out, "How are you feeling?"

Felix looked to the boy, smiling faintly as he draped an arm around Piers's shoulder, tucking the boy under his chin and smiling at the gentle warmth he radiated, "Just wondering how the Lost Boys are doing without me. Curly was never good at making decisions and Tootles was always so negative about everything."

"Tell me about them," Piers asked, "I only met a couple of them at the cave. They seem nice enough," He reached into his jacket absently, motioning for a handkerchief to wipe the bit of rum from his cheek. He started patting at his jacket frantically, searching for something but not finding it.

"What is it?" Felix asked.

"The compass! I must've left it behind," Piers exclaimed, "Sparrow's going to kill me!"

Felix chuckled lightly, "Don't worry, love. I'm sure you just misplaced it," He pressed a light kiss to the boy, meaning to tease him. Blushing red at the contact, Piers hesitated for a moment wondering what to do till he finally overcame his fear and tackled Felix down, pressing kisses all over his face and pawing at his hair. Laughing as the boy pressed kisses all over his face and down his neck, Felix wrapped an arm around the boy, encouraging him, "What if someone finds us out here?"

"Don't care," Piers mumbled and he captured Felix's lips in another kiss, "I love you so much! I love you more than anything else in the world!" Years of confessions spilling out from him and sounding sillier and sillier as they came.

Despite being the same age now, Felix would always be more mature. Taking the boy's face into his hands and pressing a sophisticated, clean kiss to his lips, Felix whispered to him, " _I love you too_."

The words finally sounded right in his mouth.

 

"Pan? We heard something in the tree house. Are you alright?"

The fireplace was doused, the animal furs and bed sheets strewn over the bed ripped apart, Pan never needed them to begin with; he never felt cold on Neverland. They were meant to make the place look friendlier, more comfortable.

Peter stayed where he was, hearing the boys walk away, climbing back down the tree house for the umpteenth time, trying to reach Pan without any results.

He hadn't spoken to the boys since he last saw them in camp with Felix, ignored them when they came to the tree house inquiring about why the storm cleared and why they couldn't find Felix. Peter shut them all out, sitting on the edge of his bed with elbows resting over his knees as he firmly held the broken compass in his hands, the needle perpetually spinning once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Throughout this fic, I had three theme songs going on for it. I planned on putting them up in the beginning to set the tone but I realized that would've actually spoiled the ending. Anyway, now that we're at the end:
> 
>   * Cabin Boy Piers: Far Away - Nickelback
>   * Felix: Someday We'll Know - Mandy Moore ft. Jonathan Foreman
>   * Peter Pan: Let Her Go - Passenger
> 

> 
> Hope you enjoyed the fic! And I'm hoping someday we'll see more of the Cabin Boy in OUAT fiction


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